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Marie Le Conte
[coughs] [taps mic] Hello, do you have a minute? I would like to talk to you about a profile of David Davis that was published in the Telegraph in 2005.
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Marie Le Conte Nov 21
Replying to @youngvulgarian
This is the first sentence. We're not having a drop intro here, just straight into action.
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Christopher 🌨️ Nov 21
Replying to @youngvulgarian
Oh god
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Marie Le Conte Nov 21
Replying to @youngvulgarian
"Okay that's intense, but it's because it's the opening, right?" No. This is the second sentence.
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Marie Le Conte Nov 21
Replying to @youngvulgarian
"But you can't just keep this up throughout a whole piece surely?" My friend, just you wait until you see the third sentence.
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Marie Le Conte Nov 21
Replying to @youngvulgarian
"No but seriously, come on, you can't be this much of a self parody", I hear you say. Well, this is where the fourth sentence comes in.
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Marie Le Conte Nov 21
Replying to @youngvulgarian
Right, now we know what we're dealing with, let's just quietly enjoy this quote before we move on.
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Marie Le Conte Nov 21
Replying to @youngvulgarian
This one is special - it starts off vaguely okay and then no, nope, oh mate.
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Marie Le Conte Nov 21
Replying to @youngvulgarian
This is an incredible mental image. That's all I'll say on this one.
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Marie Le Conte Nov 21
Replying to @youngvulgarian
Again, this is a theme here - you start reading a quote, it sounds broadly sane, then it falls off a cliff.
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Marie Le Conte Nov 21
Replying to @youngvulgarian
We...do? Thank you David for the, er, vote of confidence I guess.
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Marie Le Conte Nov 21
Replying to @youngvulgarian
That's a strong LinkedIn profile quote, that is.
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Marie Le Conte Nov 21
Replying to @youngvulgarian
Posting this one without comment because frankly, I'm running out of comments to make.
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Marcus Leroux Nov 21
Replying to @youngvulgarian
This is amazing. Can't decide whether I'm reading it to myself in the style of Partridge or Swiss Toni.
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Gary Dunion 🇪🇺 Nov 21
Replying to @youngvulgarian
“Women, more than men, look for decency.”
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Marie Le Conte Nov 21
Replying to @youngvulgarian
No but imagine him saying that out loud. These words came out of his face.
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Tim Nov 21
Replying to @youngvulgarian
Oh look you've soiled your nappy - lets go scuba diving. No wonder our oceans are full of crap
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Marie-Anne Nov 21
Replying to @youngvulgarian
David Davis never struck me as a man who would change nappies anyway, but we’re oh so fortunate he confirmed his own paternal ineptitude
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Marie Le Conte Nov 21
Replying to @youngvulgarian
Last but not least - what? I mean, what? That's not even...historically accurate? What?
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Kate O'Flaherty Nov 21
Replying to @youngvulgarian
The man is, quite literally, insane.
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