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Umar Khan
Comedian | Confused Person | Son of Disappointed Parents |
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Tweets
Umar Khan retweeted
Joe List Apr 17
A lot of people refer to themselves as a “hot mess” when in reality they’re just an unattractive mess.
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Umar Khan retweeted
Joe List Apr 17
The boys are back in town! (For one day only) but we recorded a couple of hot numbers. Check it out. Fun episode. We felt reborn. Give it a listen and tell some friends. Live Ep at the Comedy Cellar on May 28th
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Umar Khan retweeted
mark normand Apr 15
Weird when we call a guy a ‘creep.’ Every guy is a creep. Some guys rub one out to you on the bus & the rest do it at home to your Instagram.
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Umar Khan retweeted
Tim Dillon Apr 15
Lots of people making fun of Coachella are at Coachella and that’s why Trump will win again.
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Umar Khan retweeted
mark normand Apr 12
It’s always awkward when a woman admits she’s wrong because then I have to say “it takes a big lady...”
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Umar Khan retweeted
Greg Fitzsimmons Apr 12
Coming to Chicago 5/4! Second favorite city
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Umar Khan retweeted
Shane Gillis Apr 9
This is the pilot to a web series we’re trying to make. Share it if you like it.
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Umar Khan Apr 7
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Umar Khan retweeted
Joe List Apr 5
Friendly reminder: Your dog doesn’t speak English.
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Umar Khan retweeted
Church Night Apr 5
DC! Church Night returns to TONIGHT with & 9:30pm PRAISE HIM!
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Umar Khan retweeted
Tim Dillon Apr 5
Another two show at tonight. Last night was great. Tonight will he even better because we’re auctioning off parts of Venezuela after the show! Grab tickets
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Umar Khan Apr 3
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Umar Khan Apr 2
I hope Pugh is using her leave of absence to work on her new book series, "Honest Holly: Corruption is not Just Orange." Folks!
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Umar Khan retweeted
Sarah Tollemache Apr 2
It’s kind of funny to picture Jesus Christ as being dumb. It makes sense. He’s the ultimate CEO’s son
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Umar Khan Apr 2
If you want less Muslims in the world start opening up those borders! The immigrant parent struggle is real! Buy my full special:
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Umar Khan retweeted
downtown dadourian Apr 2
Had a great talk with a couple of cool dudes & . Listen as we talk about beloved Baltimore.
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Umar Khan retweeted
Luis J. Gomez Mar 31
Alright baby bois! You can purchase my debut special right now at !
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Umar Khan Apr 1
Buy my special "Umar Khan: Live in Baltimore" on or
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Umar Khan retweeted
Kokujin 黒人 Mar 31
Got to see host the show on Friday. Always a pleasure to meet you.
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Umar Khan Mar 31
😂😂😂😂😂
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