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Umar Khan
Comedian | Confused Person | Son of Disappointed Parents |
332
Tweets
288
Following
351
Followers
Tweets
Umar Khan Feb 13
The test kitchen ladies have caused more fights between me and my gf than IG models
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Umar Khan Feb 3
This game is about as exciting as a Netflix docuseries that isn't about murder
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Umar Khan Jan 22
If a rich person doesn’t have sympathy for people who were taken advantage of by subprime loans, use as an analogy
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Umar Khan Jan 20
Say what you want about but they we’re the 1st ones to pull out of
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Umar Khan Jan 4
Replying to @cylussec
Ah damn! Anyway, thanks for coming! Hope your wife isn't mad
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Umar Khan Jan 4
Replying to @cylussec
I believe it! Those soft ass hands!
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Umar Khan Jan 4
Replying to @cylussec
Thanks for being good sports! Don't act like diabetes and kill me!
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Umar Khan Nov 14
Pumped to see and open for ! Sad to miss The Kid,
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Umar Khan retweeted
Martin Amini Sep 10
The show returns September 27th with DC's best comedians Headlining: Featuring: + + Hosted by: + @_djbo_ Venue: Tickets:
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Umar Khan retweeted
Improbable Comedy Sep 8
Don't miss Comedy as a Second Language TONIGHT at Post 41 in ! We're bringing you huge laughs from a line-up of all immigrant & 1st generation comedians, including , Jennifer Amo, , & Sharon Kang. Shows at 8pm & 10:30pm
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Umar Khan Sep 6
Ayyy thank you sir!
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Umar Khan retweeted
The Overachievers Sep 6
⚡️The Show is back September 27th⚡️ Featuring: + + Headlining: Hosted by: + @_djbo_ Venue: Doors Open 8pm Showtime 8:30pm Tickets:
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Umar Khan retweeted
Underground Comedy Sep 6
(Comedy Central, Netflix, Named “top ten comics you need to know” by Rolling Stone) headlines FRIDAY and SATURDAY 8 PM & 9:45 PM at Tix
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Umar Khan retweeted
Digression Sessions Sep 6
Ep 265! 🤙🏼🤙🏼🤙🏼
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Umar Khan retweeted
Sam Morril Sep 5
Comedy should not be funny. It should be sad, relentless and tragic with no release of tension. My favorite stand up special is the film Million Dollar Baby.
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Umar Khan retweeted
Digression Sessions Aug 28
Ep 264 with & producer Paul Hutson is up! Stream it w/ the link below or listen wherever you get podcasts!
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Umar Khan retweeted
Digression Sessions Aug 23
New pod w/ & ! Ep 263! Available wherever you get podcasts!
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Umar Khan Jul 30
Give us a listen!
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Umar Khan retweeted
Patton Oswalt Jul 20
This is one of the LESS disgusting tweets from Mike Cernovich, the dude who, after running a Gamergate-style smear campaign, just got James Gunn fired from Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3. Okay have a good weekend.
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Umar Khan retweeted
Underground Comedy Jul 20
TONIGHT 8 PM & 9:45 PM (MTV, Will and Grace, The Last OG with Tracey Morgan) and (Last Comic Standing, The Tonight Show, Master Of None) headline at Tix
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