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tyl
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tyl retweeted
Joshua Fields Millburn Oct 8
At 6’2”, I’m not tall enough to play in the NBA, but I’m tall enough to be troubled by the amount of dust on top of your fridge.
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Rachel McCartney Aug 8
To everyone out there suffering from anxiety: you are not alone there's someone behind you
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rob corddry Jul 31
Though we are for the most part a collective sack of garbage, no one exits a plane with the grace of an American.
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rob corddry Jul 31
Replying to @robcorddry
It’s in the constitution that you can stand whenever the flight crew rings the bell. But honoring the row in front of you while they collect their children is our invention. Like Jazz. I’ll keep giving us some tiny nibble of credit while you get over yourselves
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tyl Jul 20
An album of songs alternating between American songbook classics and half-finished compositions: Standards and Practices.
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Giulia Rozzi Jul 12
It is impossible to eat popcorn without looking like you’re trying to win a popcorn eating contest.
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tyl Jun 18
“What do we do with all these bodies?” On today’s playlist, Drowning Pool share a possible short-term solution.
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Simon Blackwell Jun 9
When you're letting a trapped bee out the window, everyone talks to the bee right?
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tyl Jun 9
If we get disconnected, you can reach me at the number I used called you. Let me tell you about the wonders of the redial button.
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Peggy Williams-Hayes May 26
I have a physics degree because she had one. I thought she was amazing...
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Alec Sulkin 27 Nov 12
I don't usually enjoy shrubbery condensation, but thistle dew.
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tyl Apr 23
Organizing super drummers/villains? It’s always alphabetical by first name. Suppose you have General Zod and Neil Peart. It’s not General before Peart. Remember: Neil before Zod.
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Kellyfornia Gold Mar 25
Listen kid, when I was a youngster “dope” was something the local toughs sold, “salty” was grandmas cooking, only the wood burning stove got “lit” & 4:20 was when dad got home from the truck yard so you’re room better be clean.
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Dr. Alec Couros Mar 24
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Kellyfornia Gold Mar 17
And now we begin the Mojave Desert St. Patrick’s Day tradition of driving all of the snakes out of the rock wash with a pickup truck & a Thin Lizzy cassette.
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tyl Feb 10
Only 6 screenshots later, I realize why the volume button isn’t helping me crank up Earth, Wind, and Fire.
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The Onion Feb 7
Grizzled Proofreader Has Seen It Written Both Ways
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tyl Jan 23
🎵You’re so tall. You probably think this song is beneath you.🎶
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Ken Jennings Dec 20
Look, you don't have to brag about your family accomplishments in your Christmas card. Just the fact that you got cards in the mail means that you have it way more together than we do.
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Jane McManus Nov 20
If you really believe the media is fake news, now is your chance to eat all the lettuce.
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