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Tom Peck
Political Sketch Writer and columnist at the .
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Tom Peck Sep 18
Replying to @tompeck
The British public just don’t have the discipline of a guy on his third wife with an undisclosed number of children who’s been sacked twice for lying and, while prime minister, didn’t bother going to any of the meetings about the biggest crisis the country’s faced in eighty years
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Tom Peck Sep 18
Boris Johnson there, disappointed that the British people just couldn't 'maintain their discipline' in the face of *checks notes* him bribing them to go to McDonald's and threatening them with redundancy if they don't go back to the office.
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Tom Peck Sep 18
If the emergency hospital wants to reopen it will have to phone ahead and book an appointment.
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Tom Peck Sep 18
Replying to @windygas
I always - always - said it would end up this way.
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Tom Peck Sep 18
So I can't be in a pub in Newcastle after 10pm but I can introduce primary legislation to override the Protocol on Ireland/Northern Ireland within the EU-UK Withdrawal Agreement if the EU doesn't grant me national listed status for phytosanitary exports from GB to NI. Total joke.
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Tom Peck Sep 18
Replying to @TomMcTague
Does that line count as physical infrastructure? Hope you had the consent of both communities before drawing it in.
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Tom Peck Sep 17
Replying to @EllenBarryNYT
Might get one of these for my dahlias.
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Tom Peck retweeted
Ellen Barry Sep 17
Massachusetts resident installs tiny electric fence around his Trump yard sign after six consecutive thefts. If he lived in another state, he said, "I’d be standing out there with an AR-15."
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Tom Peck Sep 17
I’m honestly surprised it’s not higher. Very, very large numbers of people have had a fairly enjoyable year working from home, seeing their children and (if they’ve not had a pay cut) have saved lots of money.
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Tom Peck retweeted
Vicki Sunter Sep 17
This is such a genuinely terrible joke that it's gone full circle and has arrived back at excellent. Also yes I am laughing because the alternative is weeping.
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Tom Peck retweeted
Richard Jolly Sep 17
The £75 million transfer-market loss Juventus made on Gonzalo Higuain (signed for £75M, released) is the biggest loss any club has ever made on a player. So far, anyway.
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Tom Peck Sep 17
Replying to @tompeck
Turns out the test and trace system really is ‘world beating.’ It’s even more popular than Glastonbury. In fact, even its boss Dido Harding doesn’t have a clue how popular it is. Sketch here...
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Tom Peck Sep 17
Replying to @tompeck
Especially enjoyed Harding explain how in fact she is very well qualified to run a medical testing program in a pandemic because she’s worked in “large, consumer facing organisations” like Sainsburys. Really she’s just launching the government’s Can’t Taste the Difference range.
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Tom Peck Sep 17
hahaha. that's excellent.
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Tom Peck Sep 17
Unfortunately, she has spent the last hour entirely failing to refute it.
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Tom Peck Sep 17
Replying to @JonnElledge
thank god for that
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Tom Peck Sep 17
Replying to @henrymance
I think I don't think anyone foresaw it.
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Tom Peck Sep 17
Replying to @tompeck
This is horrific from the very first second. She has absolutely no idea how many people are trying to get a test. No way of measuring it.
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Tom Peck Sep 17
The last time I watched Dido Harding at a Commons Select Committee, it was to explain why all her Talk Talk customers' data had been stolen by two 15 year old boys. Still, she's a Tory peer now, and will shortly explain how well everything's going with her Test and Trace app.
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Tom Peck Sep 17
I can’t see how the Biden campaign recovers from this
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