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Dévyan DuMon
*occasionally shouts into void* ... Comedian - Actor - Writer - Zen Buddha - Favorite Food: Junk
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Tweets
Dévyan DuMon Sep 10
I'm SO EXCITED to be asked back to do my show again in the LARGEST COMEDY CLUB IN AZ ... 500 SEATS!!!
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Dévyan DuMon Sep 7
One of these is the latest ad ... the other should be too. Can you tell which is which? 🌟 Just realized you could ALSO tell Thanos & he TOO would think you're retarded
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Dévyan DuMon Sep 6
Replying to @MissBananaElyse
😂🤣 .. 🙄 *extreme eyeroll, detaches retina*
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Dévyan DuMon Sep 6
Replying to @theRealDuMon
🤔 Reasons why Burt was the man w a GREAT sense of humor... • WHITE DIAMONDS ads: 1) Fragrance- 2) Change- 3) Silly- 😍♾ End credits of "Cannonball Run" w Dom DeLuise (& others)
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Dévyan DuMon Sep 6
- - They literally don't make Men like this anymore. Only thing sexier than him & the bearskin rug, are the rugs he wore in films, & the rug on his chest. - *moment of silence* - #
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Dévyan DuMon Aug 14
Reasons I won't follow your pet on instagram: 1) i don't care
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Dévyan DuMon Aug 7
Replying to @drpepper
⚄ W.T. Fuq DP!?! Just wanna GD shirt 4 drinkin ur hooch 4 10 damn years!! Evn talk abt ur carbonated prune juice ON STAGE on a POSITIVE note. I SHOULD b on payroll; I'll settle 4 bein a walkin billboard. Tell Neo & Trinity 2 STOP makin out & FIX UR MATRIX!!
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Dévyan DuMon Aug 7
Replying to @drpepper
⚃ Huh? Well, maybe I'll err on the side of a smidge obnoxious this time...
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Dévyan DuMon Aug 7
Replying to @drpepper
⚂ Oh, yeah that was a bit long, & the related info to determine eligibility was on opposite ends of the receipt .. Lemme "compress the data"
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Dévyan DuMon Aug 7
Replying to @drpepper
⚁ In response to these photos (in order of sending)..
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Dévyan DuMon Aug 7
.. ⚀(this is gonna be a chain, cause photos) Oh hey, so like, dafuq's up w your bot program fielding info for ? HASTA be a bot, cause no person is that dim who gets put in charge of digital media.. Below is a screenshot of your txts
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Dévyan DuMon Jul 31
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Dévyan DuMon Jul 26
There are two kinds of ppl.. Those who like cilantro, & those who aren't dead inside
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Dévyan DuMon Jul 23
💡🔒™ 📚 Def: When your mind LOCKS OUT learning anything NEW to keep u from "DYING" (death of who u THINK u are, i.e. CORE BELIEF STRUCTURE) 📋 Symptoms & Solution 🚫💡🔒
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Dévyan DuMon Jul 18
WE BE STUNTIN' ON THEM FOOLZ!! ✔variation of the 12Sync I invented (j/k i don't do that shit) 📽 7Sync in SaMo *deets in YT descrip
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Dévyan DuMon Jul 6
Assholes @ lunch in 2022: "Do you have any Soylent Free options?" * this isn't about YOU, Celiacs ** I kno 4yrs dsnt seem like far enough away to start eating old ppl; "Soylent Green" is a '73 movie inspired by a '66 book, so flow w my artistic integrity, ya bastards
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Dévyan DuMon Jun 20
Replying to @realDonaldTrump
⚂ ... **Today, announced canceling appropriately abbreviated "BS", but guess what?? Damage already done, dumbass
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Dévyan DuMon Jun 20
Replying to @theRealDuMon
⚁ ...is going to do their psyche? You think adults are upset HERE, wtf do you think adults are feeling THERE!?! They're potentially CREATING the problem of neighboring terrorism over a piss-poor political strategy.
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Dévyan DuMon Jun 20
⚀ • Them: What's your opinion about ? • Me: Opinions are for Star Wars movies & cake v pie -THATs a Right/Wrong issue. Christ, Reds worry so much about terrorism, wtf do you think tearing a crying child from a family & putting them in cages on floor mats...
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Dévyan DuMon Jun 19
Q: Why'd they call him The LONE Ranger when he had a sidekick? A: (besides something adding a hyphen would fix -OR- "racism")
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