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Tom Baker
Small business owner. Check out . Helps out at .
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Tom Baker retweeted
CrazyMyra 11h
The problem with sincerely believing in something because you want it to be so (religion, Trump's lies) is that it makes you susceptible to disbelieving things (verifiable statements) because you don't want them to be true.
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Tom Baker retweeted
Jason Hunzeker 12h
My wife: "You have some toothpaste on your lip." Me: "I know, I leave it there so people will know I brushed my teeth." My wife: "You're a genius." Me: "I know."
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Tom Baker retweeted
Unfiltered Mama Dec 17
Tonight I saw my husband for free. But I had to eat Thai food while sitting on the floor trying to keep a teething baby out of my curry while he referred a fight in the dining room over spring rolls. We may have made eye contact between bath time & dishes. I love lunch dates.
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Tom Baker retweeted
Trimming 🎄 Fred Savage Dec 6
god I love December when you can stop brushing your teeth and just eat candy canes
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Tom Baker retweeted
The Onion 23h
Rembrandt's 'Night Watch' Falls Off Museum Wall After Sticky Tabs Come Loose
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Tom Baker retweeted
Uncle Duke 23h
I can’t believe that in this day and age, people are still wearing fir.
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Tom Baker retweeted
Peter Sagal 23h
Sadly, you can’t see the saucy responses from the captioner:
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Tom Baker retweeted
jb4realz 23h
a discount wig shoppe called "small price toupee"
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Tom Baker retweeted
Christmas-topher Ashman Dec 14
NURSE: Would you like to see the fetus. ME: *whispering to my wife* That's Latin for feet.
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Tom Baker retweeted
WTFDAD Nov 27
My toddler invented this neat game where he hits me, kisses me, gets mad and hits me again. It’s really fun and confusing. The game is still unnamed but our working title is “Emotional Abuse”
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Tom Baker retweeted
Weird Science Dec 16
Patterns in a natural salt mine.
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Tom Baker retweeted
Qwerty Jones Dec 16
Quesadilla is Spanish for whatsadilla
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Tom Baker retweeted
Andrew Liptak Dec 16
I’m reminded of the time that some people made costumes in the same pattern as that of the Marriott Marquis Atlanta at Dragon*Con.
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Tom Baker Dec 17
Replying to @Drabblecast
It’s Sleepy Time Norm!
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Tom Baker retweeted
You Had One Job Dec 16
Rules are rules.
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Tom Baker retweeted
Diana Rowland Dec 14
Our dragon holiday display got fan mail! (And apparently the "true meaning of Christmas" involves judgmental bullshit?) 😂
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Tom Baker retweeted
Brian Bilston Dec 12
Tread softly because you tread on my words.
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Tom Baker retweeted
James Wrighton Dec 14
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Tom Baker retweeted
Robert Knop Dec 14
Pro tip: Instead of asking your son to hang up his jacket, ask him to throw it on the floor next to the hanger, that way you won’t be disappointed.
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Tom Baker retweeted
Marly Dec 14
Physical Therapy [Hallmark movie on tv] Elderly Male Patient: Movie would have lasted half as long if she’s listened to her daddy the first time he said to dump that idiot.
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