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Depressive Gargoyle Nightmare Boy (comms not open)
Nicky. Two twelve-year-old boys in a trench coat trying to sneak into a movie theater. icon is by
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Depressive Gargoyle Nightmare Boy (comms not open) 5h
Replying to @sweebaccount
I guess the big part of my obsessive sequencing in my head really is wondering at what point did my last chance to say something, before everything is set in stone, pass.
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Depressive Gargoyle Nightmare Boy (comms not open) 5h
Replying to @sweebaccount
- exactly how premediated everything was. She wasn't really one for thinking ahead. But she's never forgotten about her friends. I guess either way hurts so it doesnt matter. But at the same time not knowing makes my brain eat itself, cus its hard not to think about.
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Depressive Gargoyle Nightmare Boy (comms not open) 5h
Replying to @sweebaccount
Every single time before that she left me a lengthy goodbye somehow. So sometimes I wonder if it was actually on accident. She might have just not wanted me to call the police again. But at the same time she could have left a physical note on her person. So it makes me wonder-
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Depressive Gargoyle Nightmare Boy (comms not open) 5h
Replying to @sweebaccount
Because of that though, i don't know for sure if it was on purpose or not. On paper, it's suicide. Given it wouldn't be the first time she tried it's not unlikely. But the thing that makes me question it is that she didn't leave any note or goodbye.
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Depressive Gargoyle Nightmare Boy (comms not open) 5h
Replying to @sweebaccount
I don't know the details of how she did it. I absolutely did not want to know them and did not ask. But based on past incidents, her mom's phrasing of the news, and things the authorities said I can make a pretty safe inference that it was either prescription meds or alchohol.
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Depressive Gargoyle Nightmare Boy (comms not open) 6h
Replying to @sweebaccount
and then the hour i found out. and then the the hour i excused myself to panic. and then the hour i called the police and the hospital. and so on
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Depressive Gargoyle Nightmare Boy (comms not open) 6h
Replying to @sweebaccount
and i'll probably lie awake at the long stretch of am hours after that, thinking how at that time she was dead, and nobody knew yet. i was at home, eating, sleeping, watching a movie and she was dead that whole time.
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Depressive Gargoyle Nightmare Boy (comms not open) 6h
Replying to @sweebaccount
and because of that i feel nervous about the approaching hour that she actually died. i'll be wondering what happened between those hours. when did she decide to do it. or if maybe she didn't, if x o clock is when she realized she made a permanent mistake.
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Depressive Gargoyle Nightmare Boy (comms not open) 6h
today is my friend's death anniversary. I kept thinking about how the last two days played out. im thinking "she was probably asleep at x time. she probably ate at x time. x time is probably when she got home from work. x time is the last conversation we had."
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Depressive Gargoyle Nightmare Boy (comms not open) 10h
vtubers are weird i dont like them
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Depressive Gargoyle Nightmare Boy (comms not open) 11h
discord the living tombstone will outlive me
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Depressive Gargoyle Nightmare Boy (comms not open) 14h
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Depressive Gargoyle Nightmare Boy (comms not open) 14h
Replying to @FuyuShinju
noticing that a lot of the ppl complaining are kpop stans
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Depressive Gargoyle Nightmare Boy (comms not open) 15h
Replying to @sweebaccount
u know if they also looked like instagram models ppl'd probably be all over that shit
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Depressive Gargoyle Nightmare Boy (comms not open) 15h
i feel like ppl are only shitting on the second one and saying they "don't look like they're in love" because the boys featured are not conventionally attractive :x
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Depressive Gargoyle Nightmare Boy (comms not open) 15h
Replying to @na4a4a
As for the parents while it feels bad for them to not be so receptive, it is probably also better to take care of my face before their feelings.
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Depressive Gargoyle Nightmare Boy (comms not open) 15h
Replying to @na4a4a
That's true, luckily a lot of my family are nurses so gauze and medical tape are easy to come by for us. I actually did file my nails for awhile, but i had started to fall off of it just from so much going on. it did help a bit (though it's variably effective)
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Depressive Gargoyle Nightmare Boy (comms not open) 18h
Replying to @na4a4a
But I'll give it a shot, I know being able to wear a mask does for sure help much of the time when i am able to wear one
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Depressive Gargoyle Nightmare Boy (comms not open) 18h
Replying to @na4a4a
- at a time that most coping mechanisms might be considered "inappropriate" or "embarrassing" (at church or family gatherings for example) and in general it kind of bothers my parents when i do things that are "weird" because they don't see why i don't just not do it-
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Depressive Gargoyle Nightmare Boy (comms not open) 18h
Replying to @na4a4a
Ah, thank you; I have sort of tried to put some sort of bandaging on my nails, but more for the purpose of making them less "sharp"? I haven't thought about picking on the bandage instead, but that might be worth a try. An issue I have is a lot of the time it occurs-
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