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Steven Ekeh
I cook shit ...but mostly I sleep & hermit.
259
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Tweets
Steven Ekeh Oct 6
I once bit a vampire. Instantly he was wearing Coke bottle glasses, Urkel pants, and was afraid of women.
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Steven Ekeh Sep 28
considers this a quality device. Built with a defective battery that's swollen & rendered the device useless. Instead of repairing the device under warranty, 's solution was to tell me to buy another phone from them. Unacceptable!
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Steven Ekeh Sep 20
This week's paycheck will evaporate as soon as I step into Mitsuwa tomorrow.
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Steven Ekeh Sep 3
Currently designing a giant lotus tattoo for my right shoulder so I can show off when I wear my several Flashdance cut sweatshirts!😂🤣
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Steven Ekeh Sep 3
Had a dream I finally opened my restaurant, and it was failing. Then I realized it because I was spending all my time talking with customers and doing paperwork.... Never cooking. I get the point subconscious! 😂🤣
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Steven Ekeh Sep 1
Every so often, I see how much money Star Wars is making, and I feel like I should finish my own Space Opera....🤔
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Steven Ekeh Aug 26
Can't fight fate I was born to be the Grandma to people. I'll continue reading up on soup recipes & learn to crochet. Send me ur babies! I'll make them killer ramen bowls, & knit them onesies... Tottenham onesies!
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Steven Ekeh Aug 25
don't feel bad, but.... HOLY SHIT! I too just figured out that the "Lord of the Rings" refers to Sauron.
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Steven Ekeh Aug 25
I keep hearing how I'm a great cook at work, and at home, ...And everywhere else. If that's so true, why don't I have a restaurant already... Oh ya, that's right! *Puts on ski mask & enters bank*
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Steven Ekeh Aug 25
Can we get Billy Ocean & Frank Ocean to do a "New Wave X VaporWave" collaboration? They can call the group "Oceans' Mist".
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Steven Ekeh Aug 24
Drunk thoughts: If & Jack White made an experimental music group with differing music styles, would the group name be "Contrast"?
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Steven Ekeh Aug 23
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Steven Ekeh Aug 21
*stares at scale, crying* Time to walk the Earth like Kwai Chang Caine, training and fat shaming myself to 200 lbs.
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Steven Ekeh Aug 21
With this compression shirt, and these compression shorts, & compression socks, I have become... COMPRESSION MAN! My power: I keep it tiiiiight!
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Steven Ekeh Aug 20
🎶 Missing bullshit by moonlight, Cooking food by daylight. Always running from a real fight, I am the one named Sailor Booze!🎶
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Steven Ekeh Aug 20
Had a dream about me wearing a grey, herringbone pattern 3 piece suit... Woke up aroused. Time to make this happen! 🤣
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Steven Ekeh Aug 17
*cuts ear while shaving in the shower* Me: GODDAMN IT ALL TO FUCK! ... Well, at least the water is running warm. *Stares at faucet head, which is pointed at the floor, in the other side of the shower* Me: ...This is how I die...
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Steven Ekeh Aug 13
Sometimes I daydream about "the one that got away", then I think of how horrible I would've made their life's, & start laughing, wondering why they didn't run faster. 😂🤣🤣
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Steven Ekeh Aug 11
Look at this monster! Panko breaded fried shrimp tossed in gochujang honey BBQ sauce on lettuce, tomatoes, purple onions; topped with jalapenos, Pico, &…
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Steven Ekeh Aug 10
I bought one pair, ONE PAIR of compression socks; and suddenly I'm getting emails about shower seats & handicapable walk in bathtubs. .... Time for a new fucking email!
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