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Dr. Steven Brownlow
Clinical Psychologist, Author, Coach, & Entrepreneur. Founder of ADEPT Psychology.
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Dr. Steven Brownlow 15m
Approval is liking something. I like this about you, and I don’t like that about you. I only like you when you’re doing what I want, or when you’re reaching the goals I want you to reach. Approval is a means of control. Love empowers and recognizes freedom.
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Dr. Steven Brownlow 19m
It’s not the toughness of the exam that determines your emotion afterwards, it’s your fear of the consequences of failing it. I’ve taken three extremely tough licensing exams and been elated afterwards because I knew I'd done well enough to pass.
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Dr. Steven Brownlow 28m
We’re unconsciously attracted to people who remind us of our parents (both genders), and then try to “fix” them to heal the wounds from our relationships with our parents. How messed up is that?
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Dr. Steven Brownlow 2h
Symptomatic relief addresses only the surface. Genuine healing takes place from the inside out.
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Dr. Steven Brownlow 6h
We first got off track as children when we adapted to our maladapted families.
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Dr. Steven Brownlow 10h
The seeds of the eventual breakup are contained in the initial attraction.
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Dr. Steven Brownlow 14h
Living the life you’ve only dreamed of is a function of your willingness to allow it to happen.
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Dr. Steven Brownlow 18h
Every culture has unspoken emotional rules, and every family has a unique culture.
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Dr. Steven Brownlow 22h
Self-esteem is conditional self-approval. Self-compassion is unconditional self-love.
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Dr. Steven Brownlow Jan 15
Behavior has consequences. We agree on that. At some level, we decide to act in one way or another, usually due to unresolved affective issues that we could have chosen to resolve earlier. OK. Doesn’t change that I’m not my behavior, thoughts, or affect.
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Dr. Steven Brownlow Jan 15
Motivation comes from emotion, as does attitude and belief. Resolving old emotions changes everything.
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Dr. Steven Brownlow Jan 15
It absolutely matters. We all have a perceived need for consistency. We want to believe we are a stable entity. If you believe that you are your behavior, then changing your behavior fundamentally changes who you are. That makes changing behavior difficult.
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Dr. Steven Brownlow Jan 15
It works like this: “They didn’t care about me enough to keep me from killing myself. I must not be worth caring about.” The adult them is left battling that crazy belief.
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Dr. Steven Brownlow Jan 15
Don’t play with loaded guns. Reasonable limit, yes?
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Dr. Steven Brownlow Jan 15
Read through the discussion. Went through this in some depth less than 12 hours ago.
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Dr. Steven Brownlow Jan 15
Mood fires thoughts, which fire behavior. Identifying with one’s thoughts (or mood) causes all sorts of maladaptive behavior.
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Dr. Steven Brownlow Jan 15
In general, misbehavior shows that someone believes they are their thoughts.
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Dr. Steven Brownlow Jan 15
Children who never receive reasonable limits are never certain the adults care about them.
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Dr. Steven Brownlow Jan 14
Relationships work out when both partners are completely committed.
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Dr. Steven Brownlow Jan 14
We are pure awareness. We observe our thoughts and behavior.
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