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Sam Demaris ๐Ÿ‘น
Comedian. Actor. Whiskey Brother. Poor White Trash. A*K*A Silly Dee Williams
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Sam Demaris ๐Ÿ‘น Sep 5
ANOTHER movie?!?!?! I know I'm gonna watch it. I'm probably gonna like it. But my first reaction is gut-busting laughter.
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Sam Demaris ๐Ÿ‘น Aug 23
If I could kill 50 percent of you, I would totally do so with a snap of my fingers. Stupidity is not a fad. It's a disease. And diseases should be eradicated.
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Sam Demaris ๐Ÿ‘น Aug 22
I just missed the most epic night at the and it's the first time I've hated my travel schedule
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Sam Demaris ๐Ÿ‘น Aug 21
But by your logic, abortion has nothing to do with babies so what's the big deal? (Yeah I'm not done with you, jackass.)
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Sam Demaris ๐Ÿ‘น Aug 20
Sometimes the jokes write themselves.
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Sam Demaris ๐Ÿ‘น Aug 20
Replying to @straylightusa
I don't deny that some are using the label wrongly. My anger was directed at the statement in all caps. It's like saying Christianity has nothing to do with Christ. What an idiot.
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Sam Demaris ๐Ÿ‘น Aug 20
Tell that to my Mom who drank from the colored water fountain, you dumb motherfucker.
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Sam Demaris ๐Ÿ‘น Aug 20
Nice try Goodell
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Sam Demaris ๐Ÿ‘น Aug 7
Replying to @spikechicago
This is the margin by which Trump took Texas in 2016. Kinda unfair to judge us all by one dumbass don't you think?
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Sam Demaris ๐Ÿ‘น Aug 7
I'm black. Born and raised in Houston and have never seen this. Houston has a massive hip hop culture AND gay community. Please don't judge my whole state by one pic.
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Sam Demaris ๐Ÿ‘น Jul 28
I call this statue "What happens when the Mayans hate the movie 'Black Panther'" @ Pueblito Paisa medellin
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Sam Demaris ๐Ÿ‘น retweeted
Slade Ham ๐Ÿ‘น Jul 18
Dearest . I need a video of you saying hi to my niece. If you have a Cameo that's cool but I'll also happily do a show for a charity of your choice. I know you're busy being Spider-Man and all but I'm her favorite uncle and that comes with great responsibility too.
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Sam Demaris ๐Ÿ‘น Jul 18
Replying to @SeaGlassSiren
Do you. Fuck everyone else.
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Sam Demaris ๐Ÿ‘น Jul 18
Replying to @TheRealOJ32
Never thought I would hear an ACTUAL RB say they would take a QB first in a fantasy draft. I want in your league if you do this.
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Sam Demaris ๐Ÿ‘น Jul 18
If I ever see you spit into or lick something in a grocery store and put it back, I swear to God I will turn YOUR Instagram post into MY post.
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Sam Demaris ๐Ÿ‘น Jul 16
Half you motherfuckers piss me off so bad, this is what now says I will look like when I'm old.
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Sam Demaris ๐Ÿ‘น Jul 16
Replying to @lisacfriedrich
Also, I think it's a good time of year for whale watching. You can do it for like 60 bucks
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Sam Demaris ๐Ÿ‘น Jul 16
Replying to @lisacfriedrich
Go see the Fremont Troll, Jimi Hendrix's grave in Renton (it's actually quite beautiful), have a monster omelette at Beth's Cafe
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Sam Demaris ๐Ÿ‘น Jul 16
Replying to @lisacfriedrich
Go to Pike Place market to a place called the daily confectional and have the best cheesecake ever. Best seafood chowder right near there at the Athenian
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Sam Demaris ๐Ÿ‘น Jul 16
Replying to @TheJaclynTaylor
I think mine is pretty awesome
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