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Ryan Galligan
Self-proclaimed comedian and connoisseur of Girl Scout cookies.
2,084
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297
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325
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Tweets
Ryan Galligan May 16
Replying to @delseccoj @KarlTheFog
Thought this was a scene from last week’s GoT.
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Ryan Galligan May 15
Those little round Tostitos with the medium queso. I will eat my weight in them and my weight goes up when I eat them help my my blood is cheese I can’t stop.
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Ryan Galligan May 12
Right but I want to see this chart with Weeds. I’m tellin ya man...
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Ryan Galligan May 11
Replying to @rachelryle
You amaze me.
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Ryan Galligan May 9
Replying to @TaylorLorenz
If no one has called him a grown up Cabbage Patch Kid is like to go ahead and call him a grown up Cabbage Patch Kid.
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Ryan Galligan May 4
If you don’t remember then you didn’t finish. Other than the way she bites the straw it’s the only thing I remember about the series.
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Ryan Galligan May 4
While the ending was worse than leaving a raw chicken breast in a hot trash can while you’re on an 8 day vacation, the last episode of Weeds is worse than leaving 8 raw chicken breasts in a hotter trash can while on a 12 day vacation.
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Ryan Galligan May 4
Replying to @jonnyliebs @Clarko
Whiskey’s free when you put it in a Ziplock bag in the front of your underwear ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Ryan Galligan May 4
Diagnosed in 2002. Two trial Rx, both failed due to side effects. Quit taking daily OTCs two years ago and decided to deal with the pain till I can’t deal with it on my own. Every day there’s a little fear of passing it to my kids. Fuck AS.
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Ryan Galligan May 3
Replying to @MaxSauer
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Ryan Galligan May 1
I've said it once and I'll say it again: If the Munsters ever gets a reboot, TED 👏 CRUZ 👏 NEEDS 👏 TO 👏 BE 👏 CAST 👏 AS 👏 GRANDPA 👏
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Ryan Galligan Apr 30
I cannnnnnnnnnot stop watching this.
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Ryan Galligan Apr 30
just did a really friggin' good job on the new album. I don't know how many friggin' times I've listened to it, but I'm on the last song right now and about to start again. They can't get back to Sfriggin'F fast enough.
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Ryan Galligan Apr 28
Not today.
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Ryan Galligan Apr 20
Replying to @realDonaldTrump
This looks photoshopped.
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Ryan Galligan Apr 19
Replying to @mattcassinelli @mg
Lt m knw f y nd ny hlp. Skipping vowels for shorter messages.
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Ryan Galligan Apr 19
Replying to @mattcassinelli @mg
I know a lot of shortcuts if anyone needs help. Example: if your 6 pack is warm, put it in a salt and ice bath for a couple minutes. Boom. Cold beer.
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Ryan Galligan Apr 14
Replying to @parksandrecnbc
We share our anniversary and this is our first year so this is basically the best news ever.
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Ryan Galligan Apr 13
Replying to @KRock_19
That bat crack is just the best sound...
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Ryan Galligan Apr 12
Overselling flights, no communication with delays from airport to airport, watched our missed connecting plane back away. No way to CUN from PHX unless we take 2 flights to MIA then go tomorrow. Losing out on a night of our resort for our 1yr. Who’s fixing this?
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