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RedScharlach
TRUE FACT OF THE DAY: When falcon breeders want to breed falcons, they wear special falcon sex hats. The hat encourages the falcon to shag the breeder's head and collects the falcon sperm, which can then be artificially inseminated. I'll say that again: FALCON SEX HATS.
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RedScharlach Feb 19
Replying to @redfacts
ALSO TRUE FACT: If you want your own falcon sex hat, you can buy one from Amazon. A snip at £155. Falcon jizz not included.
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RedScharlach Feb 19
Replying to @redfacts
Further reading on the conservational importance of the falcon sex hat, in case you like to back up your trivia with research:
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RedScharlach Feb 19
Replying to @redfacts
A lot of people have said "band name!" but personally I'm working up a blockbuster movie pitch about louchely charming international man of mystery Falcon Sexhat and his muscular sidekick/lover Peregrine Jizz.
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RedScharlach Feb 19
Replying to @redfacts
Look at this beauty. "Made to order, perfect for any size falcon and available in any colour." ANY COLOUR. I mean, just imagine it. The only three words greater than Falcon Sex Hat would be FALCON RAINBOW ORGY.
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RedScharlach Feb 20
Replying to @redfacts
By the way, if you want to sing about falcon sex hats, my recommended tune is Crazy Horses by the Osmonds. 🎶 FAL-con SEX hats... *mating screech* *mating screech* 🎶 FAL-con SEX hats... *mating screech* *mating screech*
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Gareth Long Feb 20
Replying to @redfacts
And if it was warm they wouldn’t wear much more?
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RedScharlach Feb 21
Replying to @gatchers
That'll be a Hawk-Shagging Beret you're thinking of.
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Michael Bushell Feb 19
Replying to @redfacts
Why would they not just put the hat on the floor please?
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somegreybloke Feb 19
Replying to @MichaelDBee @redfacts
Why does it have to be a hat in the first place? (It's possible the article answers these questions but as a man on Twitter I refuse to click links)
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Michael Bushell Feb 19
Not clicking falcon sex hat links is not a bad life strategy, Twitter or otherwise.
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Infinite Perspective 🏳️‍🌈 Feb 19
Clicking falcon sex hat links is what life is ABOUT and now I know the answer: they aren't having sex with the hat, they're having sex with YOU cus they imprinted on humans at birth and now think we, not other birds, are sexy. The hat is more like a diaphragm than a fresh light.
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Tessa Feb 19
I didn’t need to know this but I couldn’t stop reading
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Social Derivative Feb 19
‘‘Tis true. I only practice falconry with trapped wild birds. Due to fear of being shagged? Imprinted raptors are dangerous birds. They will attack humans from a similar identity crisis when pissed off. Don’t ask how I know this.
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حسين إبن مهدي Feb 19
Did it hurt?
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Social Derivative Feb 20
Doesn’t it always. They will find a hole in the glove too.
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M.C.Hawk 🥓☕🌈⚥ Feb 19
Replying to @redfacts
"Good evening, Wembley. We are FALCON SEX HAT" *Power chord* *flute solo* *Pyrotechnics*
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Mark Wall Feb 19
Replying to @mchawk @redfacts
*shuddering climax*
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Luii Diaz Feb 19
Replying to @LatexSexGod @mchawk
*Nap*
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Mark Wall Feb 20
Replying to @LuiiDiaz @mchawk
Always nap after a good performance :-)
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Jen in Dallas Feb 20
And Mark Wall breaks the Internet today.
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Mark Wall Feb 20
*Takes a latex clad bow* ;-)
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