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pete
3,499
Tweets
202
Following
383
Followers
Tweets
pete 2h
get the fuck out of here it’s good friday christmas in harlem and looking for trouble
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pete 17h
this has 92.3k retweets which means at least 92,300 of his big bad rough n tough lets boycott snl supporters are actually into a silly silly fun time show with cartoon dragons and actors playing fancy pants dress up make believe 🥰
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pete 19h
pete buttigieg wants beyonce to fish at his inauguration
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pete Apr 15
this is how im texting everyone today
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pete Apr 15
good luck to all the boston marathon runners today. it’s going to suck in this rain. by tomorrow no one will care anymore that you accomplished it and in the future every time you bring it up people will roll their eyes.
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pete Apr 14
right now-as you read this-theres a dude with a high fade texting a girl that he met on a dating app but still hasn’t seen in person and he hasn’t spoken to in 3 weeks “pumped for thrones tonight”
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pete Apr 14
just want to say i hate the patriots. theyve been winning since i was 12. always on the front page of espn. accused of steroid use. a notable history with prostitutes. unrelated but congrats to tiger woods on winning the masters. hes the man he wears red on sundays thats sick
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pete Apr 14
Replying to @Noondaddy
that’s honestly the most insulting thing ive ever heard and now you, i am deezuz, and bobby tay number 10 are my worst enemies
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pete Apr 14
Replying to @petemccoub
i was (activity) at a (place) and a dude walked up to me and asked me if i was (doing that activity) and i said men are trash please rt
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pete Apr 14
this is not a true story
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pete Apr 14
me and smitty at the prom we were fucking losers wow
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pete Apr 13
take off your eye patch. i admit eye patches are hilarious but no one gives a fuck if your eye looks different. my old boss had a glass eye and he was a bank teller. youre a navy seal (allegedly). straighten the fuck up. its a prop. its a prop. don’t say it isn’t.
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pete Apr 12
i can’t even fathom the self assurance and confidence it takes to post to your instagram story more than 5 times in a day im very jealous of those people
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pete Apr 10
remember when megham trainer wrote like a doo wop song about being thick and proud called all about that bass that was my least favorite time to be white in a while
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pete Apr 7
kid i saw the avengas that movie is mad good. i fuckin love the avengas. spida man fuckin thoa and the fuckin wizahd? what’s the wizahds name again? oh yeah docta strange. should be fuckin docta bizahh dude that guy is mad weird dude. fights bad guys with like a wicked long scahf
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pete Apr 6
Replying to @petemccoub
ladies have you ever slept with your makeup on (funk flex explosion noise) ladies you ever been on a bad date (a star is born soundtrack plays) ladies have you ever not shaved your legs in the winter (lemonade on spotify) ladies if one more man tells me to smile (bad boys 2 soun
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pete Apr 6
tweeting as a girl must be the easiest thing in the world ladies we are done talking about sports we are talking about dating and pizza and fake eyelashes and if you agree ladies please listen
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pete Apr 5
you ever send someone a gif on text and you think it’s just a cute little cat or something but then there’s some last minute text you didn’t account for when you sent it like “imma fuck you up y u look at me hoe” what is that
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pete Apr 2
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pete Apr 1
i was gonna make an april fools tweet about believing in god but then i couldn’t stop laughing at why people think jesus had a goatee what was he shaving with he was conceived in like 1 bc what razor did he use
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