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Patton Oswalt
Mostly a comedian unless I'm acting unless I'm writing unless I'm doing something else look I keep busy. IG: pattonoswalt
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Patton Oswalt 10m
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FANGORIA 7h
RIP José Mojica Marins aka Coffin Joe - "Brazil's National Boogeyman"
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Thomas Lennon 7h
As a Gotham City medical professional, I APPLAUD the decision to release Victor Zsasz, Rod Blagojevich, Milken and Clayface. Arkham is overcrowded and Scarecrow's "experiments" have no scientific grounds. But where is the justice for and ?
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cintra wilson 20h
The powers that be have learned more about us patterning internet conflict than probably anything else. We totally showed our hands.
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Jess Dweck 9h
Everyone was worried 2020 would just be a repeat of 2016 but now we can all relax knowing it will be indescribably dumber
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blaine capatch 9h
The computer scientist responsible for cut, copy, and paste, has passed away
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Jesse McLaren Feb 18
This may be the first time in history a game show host became president and pardoned on of his contestants.
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Patton Oswalt 10h
This is a RIDICULOUSLY fun book and I can’t wait for you to get to read it!
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Ginny Simmons 12h
Replying to @alicewillhelp
Ugh. Can I send Alice’s Kids $100 more to reimburse this kid fully?
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Alice's Kids 12h
"This senior student has a 3.5 GPA and is a cheerleader. Her mom is an addict with a criminal background. Recently, the mom stole the student's Chromebook and sold it. Student has paid $100 for a replacement but still owes the school $100." We just paid the balance.
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Patton Oswalt 21h
when *that* song suddenly swells on the soundtrack at the end i burst into tears...both times
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Patton Oswalt 22h
I AGREE STEPHEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Patton Oswalt 22h
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Charlene deGuzman Feb 12
They say your external world is a reflection of your internal world which is exactly why tonight at Taco Bell they started playing Portishead just as I dipped my first nacho fry
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Patton Oswalt 23h
holy shit this thread
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Elizabeth Hackett Feb 18
I want what any lady wants from a posh hotel: check in under an implausible alias, spend cocktail hour slipping jewelry off wrists, and exit by speedboat chase.
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Patton Oswalt Feb 18
I am beyond proud of this short film I acted in last year. “The Priest,” written and directed by Mike Vukadinovich. It premieres March 4th-9th at and then continues on to ⁦⁩ & ⁦⁩! I hope you check it out!
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Patton Oswalt Feb 18
Poster for my show this Saturday at the Queen Elizabeth Theater at ! By the always-great ! The poster will be on sale later than spring, but there’s still tickets left for the show (but they’re going fast!)
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The Goldbergs Feb 18
There's a new star in town and her name is Beverly Goldberg! 🤩 Tune in to her celebrity debut tomorrow!
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Chris Stephens Feb 17
Super unprofessional when ventriloquists argue with their puppets over which one of them is the dummy. Figure that shit out backstage.
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