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Patrick Ramirez
Stand up Comedian, Oakland Raider fan, I have a dream to one day have a dream
3,051
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324
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415
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Tweets
Patrick Ramirez 14h
Just when I think there’s hope for the world someone uses the phrase “cool beans”
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Patrick Ramirez Apr 23
"It's never been a better time to make fun of white people" -white comedians
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Patrick Ramirez Apr 23
I'm so lazy I only posted three inspirational quotes today
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Patrick Ramirez Apr 23
Tonight we ride. Hit these links to achieve eternal glory.
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Patrick Ramirez Apr 23
Hey I'm a Uber driver, I'm a comic, I'm local in good ol' Glendale. Here's my music options and rating. Beat that. Tell me when you need a ride. Don't do your best do my best.
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Patrick Ramirez Apr 23
Replying to @BaldBryan
Tuesdays at 7:30 let me know. Just starting out? Ok just "bone" then
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Patrick Ramirez Apr 23
Hey Bryan, you looking to bone up on stand up? I host the Tuesday night show at Flappers. Perfect place to get some stage time and work out ideas. Let me know if you want to drop by.
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Patrick Ramirez Apr 21
-Happy 4/20 everyone! -that was yesterday -trippy
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Patrick Ramirez Apr 21
I've finally been catfished, I feel so alive
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Patrick Ramirez Apr 20
I'm 2 years away from being 2 years away from something
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Patrick Ramirez Apr 19
Father forgive me I have sinned... I went to Subway
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Patrick Ramirez Apr 18
What's most surprising about the Notre Dame church fire is finding out how many of my friends went to Europe as a teenager
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Patrick Ramirez Apr 13
If you can't handle me at my worst, you really aren't going to like me at my best
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Patrick Ramirez Apr 12
Replying to @jordmakin @alexvelluto
You're all dead to me now
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Patrick Ramirez Apr 12
I'm surprised I haven't been catfished by now.
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Patrick Ramirez Apr 11
If I crash my car while I’m swiping right on a dating app that person should be legally obligated to go out with me.
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Patrick Ramirez Apr 10
Has anyone actually been to a “Shit show”? What are they like?
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Patrick Ramirez Apr 9
Anyone else get this in the mail? I’ve learned to never ignore something with postage on it. It’s just how I was raised. Also last week’s show had balloons. Be there
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Patrick Ramirez Apr 9
Lord grant me the serenity to accept who those go to Subway and order a salad
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Patrick Ramirez Apr 7
It used to be uncomfortable and shocking to hear your own voice but now what really gets me is re-reading my own DM's
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