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Rich Ohrnberger
Twitter account of former Penn State Nittany Lion, New England Patriot, Arizona Cardinal, and San Diego Charger, current nudist Rich Ohrnberger.
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Rich Ohrnberger Jun 28
SOUTHWEST AIRLINES SURVIVAL TIP #109: How To Get Your Own Row (see picture for outfit/instructions)
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Rich Ohrnberger Jun 22
Best Father's Day ever.
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Rich Ohrnberger Apr 21
If your polo shirt is buttoned all the way to the top, I will treat you with the same reluctance my dog shows the vacuum.
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Rich Ohrnberger Apr 13
My tailor says there's nothing he can do with these numbers...well... I see a winning lotto ticket
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Rich Ohrnberger Apr 12
People used to say Grace... Nowadays I have to wait for someone to Instagram my eggs benedict before I can dig in!
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Rich Ohrnberger Apr 9
Found an old worn out copy of "Juggs" magazine on a waiting room coffee table... realized this was a test of some sort... failed.
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Rich Ohrnberger Mar 12
If you haven't experienced hearing loss from a bowel movement yet. You're already having a better year than me.
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Rich Ohrnberger Mar 11
Enough with the fucking chia seeds...
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Rich Ohrnberger Jul 19
"She got a big booty, so I call her big booty" Totally blanking... is this Frost or Whitman?
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Rich Ohrnberger Jul 12
Just got home from my honeymoon. I'm tan front and back and very white on the sides... I look like the middle biscuit in a circular pan
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Rich Ohrnberger Jul 11
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Rich Ohrnberger Jul 11
My wife. My life...
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Rich Ohrnberger 24 Jun 14
In Hawaii for my wedding this weekend!! One of the locals told me that my name in Hawaiian is U'lookp'ale
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Rich Ohrnberger 19 Jun 14
orgasms are like appetizers, I try to have three before anyone else has one.
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Rich Ohrnberger 15 Jun 14
Hoping this works... Not like reading the Times, or opining over global events.. but maybe stop shitting in the hall?
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Rich Ohrnberger 2 Jun 14
: I am 50% sure he spells his own last name wrong... spelled correctly, the pronunciation is tricky... "thunder-cock"
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Rich Ohrnberger 1 Jun 14
Found out the hard way that my toothpaste was a jihadist
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Rich Ohrnberger 1 Jun 14
I put pants on like everyone else, one leg at a time... and once all these dead clowns have pants on, I make some coffee and start the day.
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Rich Ohrnberger 1 Jun 14
If people of the Stone Age could see us putting in contacts, it would BLOW their minds!! ..mainly because their's were made of rocks.
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Rich Ohrnberger 13 May 14
NOBODY would believe that I'm a professional football player if they saw the shape I'm in after watching the movie "Armageddon"
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