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That M🍅m Tho
Livin’ that working mom life, one sleepless night to the next. I’ll probably curse once in a while.
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That M🍅m Tho 11m
Replying to @wgkcss
Thanks!
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That M🍅m Tho retweeted
William 🎩 Gentleman Overlord Sep 5
Me (wearing shorts, running T-shirt and running shows): Do you do marathons? Runner: Sure, I’ve done a couple. How about you? Any favorites? Me: I did one of those long weekend marathons of Law and Order recently. It was demanding.
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the drake gatsby 🏴‍☠️ 15m
Me: This spaghetti is spicy. Aquarium Employee: Did you just bite an electric eel
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That M🍅m Tho retweeted
miles but bubbly 22m
My therapist says I should spend less time on social media because seeing other people’s happy internet personas isn’t productive. Guess he wasn’t listening when I said I was on TWITTER where everyone’s brand is depression get instagram tf outta here
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That M🍅m Tho 22m
Replying to @eric_bruesch
I don’t doubt that!!
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That M🍅m Tho retweeted
Amelia Clark 44m
Replying to @mom_tho
Booo! Get well soon! Bugs and kisses
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That M🍅m Tho retweeted
HRH Teddy Windsor Sep 20
AC/DC, it's impossible to be struck by thunder, so I'd advise changing the title to Lightningstruck, however, as the song is strong I am prepared to overlook your transgression on this occasion. B+
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That M🍅m Tho retweeted
💔Bad Breakup Guy🥃 6h
*vacuums passive aggressively near your chair
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That M🍅m Tho 28m
Replying to @eric_bruesch
Thasssssa snuggly baby 😍🥰
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Obi Wan Punobi 6h
[after doctor’s appointment] Wife: How’s your vertigo? Me: *sly grin* W: ugh... just say it Me: It has its ups and downs W: *rolls eyes*
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Bry, Thor of Coffee ⚡️☕️ 2h
If lazy Sundays involving coffee, naps, and food is wrong, then I don’t want to be right!
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That M🍅m Tho retweeted
Bry, Thor of Coffee ⚡️☕️ 5h
Behind every good idea is a cup of coffee, and behind every cup of coffee is someone who brewed it for you. They are the real heroes.
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That M🍅m Tho retweeted
M. Emerson 1h
I talk a lot of shit for someone whose Google search history includes: Are elephants heavy?
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Fillmore Wilbury 🎼🎸🎹🎧 4h
S.S. Minnow: May Day, weather started getting rough, which direction should we go? S.S. Poseidon: waves here too, which way should we go? R.M.S. Titanic: all clear and calm here fellas, head this way
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That M🍅m Tho 30m
Replying to @dadmann_walking
Can it apply to a 3 year old with only one volume (it ain’t quiet)
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Dadman Walking 3h
How many times does it take a 10 yo to say "whaaat" before u even get your sentence out before you punch his face inside out? Asking for me. I want to punch a child. In the face. A lot.
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Jailbeard, Lost Pirate ☠ Sep 21
An aye for an aye a tooth for a tooth ~ Scottish dentist convention
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That M🍅m Tho 30m
Replying to @starringmichell
🥰
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🔥Ashes🔥 3h
Frog Legs and Bacon: An Erotic Novel
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That M🍅m Tho retweeted
Captain Antagonist 🏴 8h
Her: So what do you? Him: I'm a lexicographer Her: So you're gonna give me the d— Me, Helpfully Interupting: THE DICTIONARY CHERYL
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