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Molly Fargotstein
I'm so adjective, I verb nouns.
308
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97
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108
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Tweets
Molly Fargotstein 10 Apr 17
Kristen's response to not saying a "formal hello" on Reunion Pt 1 was the reaction of everyones least favorite aunt on Thanksgiving.
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Molly Fargotstein 7 Apr 17
When one door closes, a bottle of wine opens
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Rachel Maddow MSNBC 14 Mar 17
BREAKING: We've got Trump tax returns. Tonight, 9pm ET. MSNBC. (Seriously).
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Man Repeller 14 Mar 17
Absurd body legislation isn't just for women anymore, thanks to this Texas bill that dehumanizes men to make a point
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Molly Fargotstein 18 Aug 16
Forgot how much I love getting a physical. I'll take any excuse to wear an entire outfit made out of paper napkins
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Molly Fargotstein 19 May 16
I wonder if he thinks he put himself on mute.
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Molly Fargotstein 19 May 16
My dad and I are on a conference call with a bank, and he won't stop mumbling "bada bing" while everyone else is trying to speak. Genes.
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Allie Hundley 29 Feb 16
Lauren and JoJo didn't realize that Ben was saying "I love you two." Spelling is important.
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Molly Fargotstein 17 Feb 16
if something is incredible, is it not credible?
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Molly Fargotstein 4 Feb 16
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Molly Fargotstein 2 Feb 16
Every time I get on Hulu, I'm .2 seconds from restarting from the beginning. AGAIN. Because I can't let it go.
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Molly Fargotstein 28 Jan 16
NATALIE IMBRUGLIA, WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW
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Molly Fargotstein 21 Jan 16
have you ever deep cleaned your computer mouse? like, with the end of a paperclip? probably dirtier/more gross than actual mice. gloves on.
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Molly Fargotstein 5 Jan 16
Ive learned to calm my rage stemming from the Target parking lot by going in and smelling all the shampoo bottles.
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Alex Rosenthal 3 Jan 16
Without the flashlight app, no dad is ever fully equipped to read a menu at a fancy restaurant
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Molly Fargotstein 30 Dec 15
hahaha I HAVE FAILED YOU. i'll get into it! it's on the list!!! (i just refound twitter!)
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Molly Fargotstein 24 Nov 15
Why I’ll Never Dye My Greys
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Molly Fargotstein 3 Nov 15
My younger cousin just asked me if I "remember college". I'll try to refresh my memory once I change my adult diaper.
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Molly Fargotstein 22 Oct 15
bc ugly-crying during work breaks is my fave thing:
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