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emilie
@
modMOMlife
United States
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LIFE as a MODERN MOM of 5 β’ Cancer Momπ β’ Creative Soul β’ Minivan Karaoke Star β’ MomTribe Builder β’ Lover of Stories β’ Polka Dot Obsessed
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3,930
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367
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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24h |
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Arguments by Jose 101: A comprehensive course.
1st approach: "You're triggered!"
Rebuttle: "That's because you're triggered!"
Final Argument: "It's okay. You're just triggered."
Come back: "Triggered. Oh yeah, and also triggered."
πππ
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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24h |
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It was a joke!! I like In-N-Out.
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Claire Fallon
@ClaireEFallon
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Apr 24 |
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i am unfulfilled and purposeless but i chose that and continue to choose it with open eyes.... that's a little thing i like to call commitment
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 24 |
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But can you defend the In-N-Out french fries?
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 24 |
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I'm triggered by how many times Jose tells people on Twitter that they've been triggered.
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 21 |
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I'm personally triggered by how many commas JosΓ© uses in his tweets.
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 20 |
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My now-husband and I had dated a year and then got engaged. Our engagement was 5 1/2 months long. Two weeks AFTER we were engaged my sister met a guy. Then they dated, got engaged, married, and were newly PREGNANT at our wedding.
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 19 |
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Actually, we began this conversation because YOU were emotionally triggered by @chrissyteigen. A person who is smart, powerful, and having regular sex...three things YOU will never achieve. π
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 18 |
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You got me. I failed to address your highly intellectual "message". What was your core message again? Oh yeah. Chrissy is fat.
We can debate that truly important message you shared. π Let me brush up on tweets with random numbers, misspelled words, and excessive commas first.
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 18 |
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You're sad. You spend your time trolling celebrities. And you are so ashamed of who you are you hide behind a profile photo that is not you. I'm sorry your life is so empty. There are a lot of opportunities online to spread goodness. You'll be happier if you do that instead.
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 17 |
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But seriously. Did you pass the third grade? The errant commas. The incomplete sentences. The horrendous grammar. Again, my 8 year old awaits your call to offer you some much needed help with the English language.
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 17 |
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I'm clueless? You don't know the difference between YOUR and YOU'RE.
Spoiler=you used the wrong one. You're is a contraction which stands for "you are".
My 2nd grader can tutor you if you're free on weekends.
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 17 |
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I'm sorry...did THIS MAN just call you fat?!! πππ I mean, no clapback needed. His clapback is in the mirror every morning. Even his belt is trying to make an escape from the torture of holding his pants up! pic.twitter.com/FdJWUEqNhd
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 17 |
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It's #NationalHaikuDay! Here is a little poem dedicated to my fellow Modern Moms! Someday, the poo will end. Don't give up hope! pic.twitter.com/g2ShIgppsc
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 16 |
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 11 |
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FYI: You need to read @lindaholmes' book "Evvie Drake Starts Over". It's SO GOOD! I thoroughly loved it.
Congrats, Linda! #evviedrakestartsover
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 11 |
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Naming babies is the worst. Full stop.
It was so easy when we were 7 years old and naming our dolls. What happened?!
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 9 |
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SIDE NOTE: When did Joy start looking EXACTLY like Sally Jessy Raphael? Those awful red glasses needed to officially retire in 1991. pic.twitter.com/5DezX5TKg7
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 9 |
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Maybe it's the grandson of the guy who started Hooker Appliances, whose sign in Cache Valley says, "Big 'N Friendly Hooker". I kid you not. It's between Logan and Smithfield.
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 9 |
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This.
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 9 |
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Agreed. Jim's or Tony Luke's.
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 9 |
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When I was 8 my dad took me to a Van Halen concert. We went back stage. Eddie was pissed as hell that a kid was backstage and started yelling. His then wife @Wolfiesmom (Val Bert) was so nice to me and told Eddie to stop yelling. I had no clue who either of them was at the time.
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 9 |
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Here's all I have to say about Luke's sexuality. I have never known a straight man whose first order of business on his wedding night would be, "tell me the dirt on the other brides!"
When I want to spill the tea I hit up my GBFs. Right?
#MarriedAtFirstSight #mafsreunion pic.twitter.com/l8yCPkOX5r
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 9 |
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Tonight's lullaby for my 8, 5, and 4 year old children was @ArmchairExpPod "Live from LA" Episode. Start at 1:18:19. #bestmomever
@daxshepard & @IMKristenBell, I'll be waiting for an iTunes download of this masterpiece. π
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 7 |
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Then I think you are very in tune and are a great man.
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 7 |
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But my friends were following the Prophet's council to the letter. That's what members are commanded to do.
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 7 |
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I'm not LDS so what the Prophet says has no bearing on my life.
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 7 |
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Well, I wasn't at Priesthood Session so I'm not aware of the full gist of the talks. Women can't ho to that meeting because they might announce something only men can hear. Shhhhh.
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 7 |
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Staying off social media for a week is not going to change a woman who compares herself to others. That change has to come from within. If a woman struggles in that regard she'll just look at every other woman she sees in the grocery store and compare her body to theirs.
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emilie
@modMOMlife
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Apr 7 |
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Thanks for setting me strait priveledged, white, man!
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