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soul nate
@
MNateShyamalan
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forbes' 7.4 billion under 7.4 billion
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13.842
Tweetovi
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687
Pratim
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15.285
Osobe koje vas prate
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Sir Michael
@Michael1979
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2. velj |
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Will not name names because I don't want to give her the attention she craves but the celebrity who's been tormenting me in the DMs needs to grow up pic.twitter.com/9fU9Cq5aZM
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Sir Michael
@Michael1979
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13. sij |
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Managed to make a nice profit in the group chat today 💰 pic.twitter.com/5YHZRHPhjY
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soul nate
@MNateShyamalan
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14. stu |
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Tyler Durden: welcome to fight club! thanks for coming
Me: don’t mention it
Tyler Durden: *under breath* fuck he’s good
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soul nate
@MNateShyamalan
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15. pro |
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*listening to slow mumford and sons song*
me: this is nice... but I wish there were a part where the guy would strum really fast
*the guy begins to strum fast*
me: wha woooOaAh
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soul nate
@MNateShyamalan
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19. pro |
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Being sad over a breakup:
- Unproductive
- Waste of time
- Sad
Saying “That’s show biz, baby!”
- Awesome
- Cultivates reputation as unflappable cosmopolitan go-getter
- thats show biz, baby
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soul nate
@MNateShyamalan
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27. pro |
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Me: hello I would like to take care of my bones
Health Insurance: Sure thing! How about an x-ray? Would you like a cast?
Me: no, the bones in my mouth
Health Insurance: OH HO HO no, not your TEETH bones
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soul nate
@MNateShyamalan
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28. sij |
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guy at bar: *up in my face* what the fuck did you just say to me
me: i said “stuart little doesn’t drive a toy car, it is a real car that has simply been made to be very small”
guy at bar: *smashing bottle* that doesn’t make any fucking sense
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the drake gatsby 🧙♂️
@DrakeGatsby
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19. lis |
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[Tour of NASA Headquarters]
Guide: So NASA was founded in July of 1958 with the goal-
Me: *interrupting* Is it true the moon won’t bleed no matter how many times you stab it?
Guide: *into walkie talkie* He’s back.
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soul nate
@MNateShyamalan
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24 h |
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me, the only one in spanish class who can’t roll his r’s:
pic.twitter.com/T9dKaHN86s
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soul nate
@MNateShyamalan
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6 h |
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“Kansas City Chiefs”
- insensitive to Native Americans
- only have one kind of bowl
- at least they’re not Washington?
“Kansas City Chefs”
- woah baby
- this fucking rules
- vast assortment of bowls
- what ya whipping up in the kitchen?
- can i have some
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soul nate
@MNateShyamalan
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31. sij |
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guard 1: choose your path wisely. one of us always lies and one of us alwa-
guard 2: AAAAAAHHH
guard 1: always screams
me: doesn’t that get annoying?
guard 1: *heavy sigh* no it’s super fucking awesome
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soul nate
@MNateShyamalan
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1 h |
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yes, but especially me
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Ron Iver
@ronnui_
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2 h |
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Shakira did this twitter.com/HuffPost/statu…
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soul nate
@MNateShyamalan
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1 h |
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this is a serious matter
twitter.com/MNateShyamalan…
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soul nate
@MNateShyamalan
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1 h |
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right i'd never wish cancer on anyone. but like if they HAVE to meet a quota
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soul nate
@MNateShyamalan
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1 h |
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the weird fucking ads you get after you hit after you hit >200 blocked brands are my cocaine.
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soul nate
@MNateShyamalan
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1 h |
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yes. my genuine sympathies to anyone who loves him, if there are any
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clean slate
@PleaseBeGneiss
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3. velj |
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Yoda Groot
🤝 🤝
Baby
🤝 🤝
Spice Nut
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Michael 🌶
@Home_Halfway
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3 h |
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DEALING WITH A LIFE-ALTERING ISSUE: I'll be fine, we can figure it out
DEALING WITH TINY INSIGNIFICANT ISSUE: Everything sucks and I want to die
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eat the rich
@ETRcomic
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3 h |
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