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Timothy McSweeney
The Twitter feed of McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, & McSweeney's Books.
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Timothy McSweeney 21m
"Calculate the time between the start of the semester and the day that the first housekeeper dies from COVID-19, which she contracted while cleaning restrooms in your building."
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Timothy McSweeney 36m
"As Bubble Time’s owner, I create the reality you endure. For the next however many minutes until you realize none of the dryers work, you are my plaything to do with as I please."
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Jordan Pittman 18h
McSweeneys does it again
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Timothy McSweeney 11h
My Favorite Girlfriend was a French Bulldog is listed as a featured top book by Publisher’s Weekly, Chicago Review of Books, and Ms Magazine. Get it now wherever books are sold.
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Lauren Hough Aug 9
Four devastating paragraphs.
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Timothy McSweeney 11h
"An IKEA Furniture Designer’s Writer: Your work’s fundamental contradiction is its lack of aesthetic depth yet abundance of internal complexity. Your ability to frustrate is legend, as are your meatballs."
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Timothy McSweeney retweeted
tahhn-yuh 17h
excuse me but this is the most accurate and most hilarious thing you will ever read about school reopening plans
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Timothy McSweeney 11h
"Neck length shall be measured from the midpoint of the young lady’s chin to the top of the sternum. When this measurement is divided by two, the permissible amount of exposed neck skin can easily be determined."
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Candice Aiston 🍦 17h
This piece is genius. 🤣
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Timothy McSweeney 12h
Okay, let’s get this settled once and for all.
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Timothy McSweeney 12h
"The fact that said throwdowns are 'almost, but not entirely, about moors' did not add to the project’s appeal. We regret that we must say no to this misguided endeavor, though we wish you the best of luck."
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Timothy McSweeney 13h
"Even a smile goes a long way if you don’t understand the words coming out of the teacher’s mouth. But with a mask? No more smile. I guess I’ll have to work on my eye expression or maybe just nod a lot." -
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Timothy McSweeney 14h
Always surprising, always redesigned, subscribe to the three-time National Magazine Award-winning McSweeney’s Quarterly today.
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Lori Fontanes Aug 10
stunning work of topical non-fiction in the usually satirical Internet Tendency which...wait, it's...huh, because
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Jana Pochop Aug 11
HOLY SHIT THIS IS A HELL OF A TELEPHONE POLE
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Timothy McSweeney retweeted
Chloe East 19h
"I don’t hate women candidates. I just hated Hillary Clinton because she’s a Pizzagate Benghazi warlord... I don’t hate Black candidates but, of course, I hated Obama, on account of the tan suit." calls it like it is again 👏
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Kate Gavino 19h
I illustrated baby shower invitations for Macbeth, Countess Ellen Olenska, Jane Eyre, Madame Bovary, and Athena hatching out of Zeus's head.
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Anna Nelson Aug 9
Heartbreaking and very much worth the read.
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Kristen Kern Aug 11
Can't stop laughing
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The Raven of Wroclaw 23h
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