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Timothy McSweeney
The Twitter feed of McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, & McSweeney's Books.
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Timothy McSweeney 8h
"Check your Submittable page."
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Timothy McSweeney 9h
"Why don’t your children sing? Because of the vicious and savage gutting of my industry, a decimation hidden from the average American by corporate greed, complacent journalists, and a naively assuaged populace!"
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Timothy McSweeney 11h
“Medicare should cover the full spectrum of contraceptive options,” she said hysterically.
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Rebecca Hazelwood May 24
In which “Pelosi clap” becomes a verb, a command, an imperative.
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Timothy McSweeney 12h
"I just heard the good news about your latest accomplishment, and I just wanted to be the first to say congratulations! This is amazing for you and not primarily a referendum on my lack of success in a similar field!"
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Timothy McSweeney 14h
"The university pledges to continue to Promise that it will create a more diverse And inclusive community, While not actually doing anything at all"
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Gail Labovitz May 24
The headline says it - but read the whole thing!
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Sari Friedman 21h
Fucking brilliant💫
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Jeremy Solomons May 24
Improve with toddlers. It might be all you can do.
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Timothy McSweeney May 25
Happy Birthday, Raymond Carver!
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Timothy McSweeney May 25
"One possible explanation for Inanna’s decline is that millennials have little interest in divine justice. Taking selfies is seen as more important than fighting the Bull of Heaven."
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Timothy McSweeney May 25
"Oh for God’s sake, Jack, don’t you see? He was quacking for help, all those years! He knew this was his fault. He was Duck Zero. All of us — all of us! We didn’t rhyme together. We rhymed with him!"
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Timothy McSweeney May 25
"Would you be interested in donating some plasma to the CEO’s personal plasma hoard?"
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Timothy McSweeney May 25
"It’s important to recognize that women of color deserve to have their voices heard, and that those in power, such as myself, need to listen to them — so long as they don’t challenge the institutions that I am a part of and benefit from."
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Timothy McSweeney retweeted
probablythis May 24
This is old but ... omfg— Top Millennial Injuries Reported at Urgent Care Facilities
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elizabeth o-k May 24
This is hilarious but also gives me serious flashbacks/anxiety.
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Timothy McSweeney May 24
"Hammers. Your hormonal rages can really drive a nail home without a single tool."
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Timothy McSweeney May 24
"The only thing that can get me out of this malaise is to engage in an extended conversation across several social media channels with a paper towel brand that not only can absorb spills, but also my deep-seated, existential dread."
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Don Pizarro May 24
If this were my childhood, this story would've been 2 sentences long, and the second sentence would've been: "Go ahead," said his mother. "See how long you last on the street."
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Melissa Yosua-Davis May 24
Basically, all the articles about toddlers that I've read recently from describe my current reality. So much truth.
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