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Matthew Phillp
Writer, flaneur (apparently), Baron of Sealand. This is, in fact, my radical new therapy. New York, NY.
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Tweets
Matthew Phillp Jul 19
Replying to @larazontally
Like, I actually breathed a sigh of relief.
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Matthew Phillp Jul 19
Austin Butler held the door for me at a cafe in Williamsburg on the weekend of June 15 and it remains one of my only memories.
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Matthew Phillp Jul 19
Replying to @larazontally
It really explains the process of dealing with it. I felt represented.
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Matthew Phillp Jul 19
Replying to @larazontally
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Matthew Phillp Jul 18
Replying to @MittRomney
Question: when you’re clinically dead inside, do you still have to eat and sleep? Just interested to know because I’m guessing the impact of that on time management would be substantial.
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Matthew Phillp Jul 18
Replying to @wirecan
Well, yeah. That’s their go-to deflection.
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Matthew Phillp Jul 18
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up. Child beauty pageants are a healthy,disturbing example of America’s sexual bipolarity. Drag shows are a socialist devil plot designed to encourage “hatred” of “America”. Totally different. Also, Drag queens need to go back to their country of origin etc
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Matthew Phillp Jul 16
Replying to @xintra @emilynussbaum
Nicely played
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Matthew Phillp retweeted
Bill Pascrell, Jr. Jul 16
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Matthew Phillp Jul 16
Euphoria and its cast are quite beautiful, sure. I'm just not sure how many more stories I need about toxically bored teenagers in American suburbia.
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Matthew Phillp Jul 15
One email I really look forward to every month is my Venmo transaction history. It’s a magical traipse through the recent past that involves one or two small transactions. Working on a seventy-act, full-scale opera based on it, actually.
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Matthew Phillp Jul 15
Replying to @SustainablyAli
Well, but I guess: it would be an extraordinary honor to work there, so...fair enough.
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Matthew Phillp Jul 14
Replying to @SustainablyAli
Entry level copywriter position at Facebook posting stated that the applicant must have ten years experience.
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Matthew Phillp Jul 14
Replying to @xintra
I mean, it literally is.
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Matthew Phillp Jul 12
Love a manic, frenzied deference to royalty. Cannot get enough of it.
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Matthew Phillp Jul 12
Replying to @OwenJones84
Top notch bisexuals!
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Matthew Phillp Jul 10
Replying to @redpoca @shedd98 and 3 others
Your move
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Matthew Phillp Jul 9
Eh, he’s getting paid. At this point he doesn’t know what his mouth does.
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Matthew Phillp Jul 9
She really wouldn’t. He’s a crab who lives by his wits, charm, and talent.
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Matthew Phillp Jul 9
Replying to @NickAdamsinUSA
Solid C+ effort here. The trouble is, you’re too obvious. If you’re trying to exasperate you have to reach a little deeper. It can’t always just be obvious cliche plus myopic hypocrisy = profitable tweet. Try harder.
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