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Matthew Johns
Not so much a stream of consciousness, more of a slurry
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Matthew Johns 57m
The politicians response: "Please can I delay any responsibility until such a time as I won't be held accountable"
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Matthew Johns 2h
Replying to @pangalactic
Flail Snail.
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Matthew Johns 2h
M&S Gluten free lasagne a definite win.
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Matthew Johns 6h
The ability to shift profits out of a joint benefit/profit share arrangement is pretty much the first year of economics class.
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Matthew Johns 7h
Wow a nuclear munchkin's international translator read Shakespeare. Top promotion
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Matthew Johns 9h
I speak not like a dotard nor a fool, As under privilege of age to brag What I have done being young, or what would do Were I not old.
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Matthew Johns 9h
God coudn't have put a closer warning about climate change if he'd put an acid rain storm and a desert world on either side of Earth. Oh...
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Matthew Johns 10h
Replying to @Dragon_Ryder7
Something to beat, something to negotiate with and something to run away from that they can overcome later: Skeletons, humans and chained X.
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Matthew Johns retweeted
Girls' Schools Assoc Sep 21
Inspiring new app launched by teacher brings Maths to life for students
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Matthew Johns Sep 21
You said this ship was unsinkable. Make it float!
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Matthew Johns Sep 21
Health and safety overkill for this package.
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Matthew Johns Sep 21
Replying to @moiramcgrath
In pain and strapped up but still in school. Just no dance, sport or music lessons
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Matthew Johns retweeted
Roger Protz Sep 21
Plater Bio has developed a fungi called Chitosan that can replace isinglass to clarify cask beer
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Matthew Johns Sep 20
Tired after a late night having #1 diagnosed with broken hand. Apple not falling far but falling hard.
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Matthew Johns Sep 20
Fewer than 3 babies named Nigel in 2016 per ONS figures. Cp 27 Vladimirs and 9 Donalds.
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Matthew Johns Sep 19
The laws of physics aren’t immutable if you’ve an infinite amount of power. The laws of maths are
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Matthew Johns retweeted
Evan Schiff Sep 19
I was gonna tweet an annoyance about iOS 11 but there’s a 7.1 earthquake in Mexico and Trump is threatening to flatten North Korea. 😞
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Matthew Johns retweeted
Mat Johnson Sep 19
I didn't think the apocalypse would be this stupid.
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Matthew Johns Sep 19
A key function of the circus clown is to engage the audience cheaply whilst the stage hands do necessary heavy lifting
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Matthew Johns Sep 19
Initially assumed that this was a sequel to Get Out
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