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Lauren Hough
Writer Berliner. Tall. Aghast. Extremely gay. I hate your cat. (Huff) she/her Folio/CAA
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Lauren Hough 29m
Replying to @thomaspluck
Class 1 misdemeanor. That’s what the fucking lawyer cost. But he got it dismissed.
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Lauren Hough 30m
I just realized I know someone who was in an Indiana Jones movie and I want to brag to 9yo me that I know someone who was in an Indiana Jones movie. She’d be super impressed.
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Lauren Hough 37m
Replying to @thomaspluck
“False application on a license.” You’re supposed to register your car first but I wanted to skip traffic so I hit the dmv first. I came here from Maryland where my car title was missing a digit cause who gives a shit. So I figured who gives a shit. Texas. Texas gives a shit.
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Lauren Hough 57m
Someone dropped this into my notifications and the replies to this, and the original thread, the replies I didn’t read at the time because, these fucking people, are funnier than anything I’ll ever write.
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Lauren Hough 2h
How to write while the world is burning -put down your phone -open Twitter on laptop -no, goddamnit, what’s wrong with you -shut off wifi -now you can focus -write fuck repeatedly -check phone -move to the woods. Ah hermit life -drive back to post about hermit life -check Twitter
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Lauren Hough 2h
Replying to @EvanBrechtel
Oh that thing. Yeah I should probably write that.
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Lauren Hough 2h
Replying to @dcbigjohn
Some little kids, and I mean LITTLE, did it to our van in East Germany, with our own flashlight batteries, this was right after the wall, and I’ve been in in awe ever since.
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Lauren Hough 3h
Replying to @laurenthehough
(I got it dismissed but it still cost 2 fucking thousand dollars)
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Lauren Hough 3h
Replying to @laurenthehough
Also it’s possible I didn’t have a license back then so I should probably do that first since the last time I committed conspiracy to do the right things in the wrong order, Texas put a warrant out for me. To clarify: I got my license before I registered my car. An HOUR before.
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Lauren Hough retweeted
Drew Morgan 3h
This is our culture. Thank you
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Lauren Hough 3h
Someone bought my motorcycle. So now I have to find another one. Because it turns out I’m buying a motorcycle. In the meantime I signed up for rider course cause it’s been a minute, or 15 years, since I rode a bike.
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Lauren Hough retweeted
Bridger Winegar 10h
I wrote this thought down a few months ago and I’m finally ready to share it
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Lauren Hough retweeted
andi zeisler 4h
The one day I can't keep up with Twitter and I miss murdering Joe Biden?
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Lauren Hough 5h
Am I a memoirist or an essayist, or just a narcissist for money, and is that better or worse than straight up narcissism
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Lauren Hough retweeted
Elizabeth Warren 10h
Replying to @ewarren
In 1974, Democrats and Republicans united in support of impeachment not out of mutual contempt for Nixon but mutual respect for the rule of law. Congress refused to be complicit in future law-breaking by Nixon or other presidents. It’s time for this Congress to step up and act.
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Lauren Hough retweeted
Kelsey D. Atherton 11h
Anyone know when CBP started referring to things as "forward operating bases"
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Lauren Hough retweeted
Rebecca Traister 10h
“Congress is complicit.”
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Lauren Hough 6h
Replying to @dcbigjohn
I’ve seen that trick.
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Lauren Hough 7h
Replying to @laurenthehough
Goddamnit. It started. But I also scraped the terminals and cursed profusely so we’ll never really know. I have been given a road beer. Buda’s a strange land and I’m going home.
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Lauren Hough 7h
Replying to @laurenthehough
I’ve learned to never question shitkicker advice since one told me to shove wonderbread in a copper pipe when the solder wouldn’t stick and it worked.
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