Twitter | Search | |
Kyle Shevlin 14 Sep 18
On the heels of my brief rant the other day about working remotely, I'd like to talk about something I think about often and believe is missing from the job market discussion in our industry: the full cost of relocation.
Reply Retweet Like
Kyle Shevlin 14 Sep 18
Replying to @kyleshevlin
I'm not talking about the financial cost of moving for a new job, which can be great on its own, what with the cost of movers, the costs of new housing, new schools, new cost of living, etc. I'm talking about the emotional and societal costs.
Reply Retweet Like
Kyle Shevlin 14 Sep 18
Replying to @kyleshevlin
I, personally, do not want to consider non-remote jobs for several reasons: the cost of giving up my community and the cost of establishing a new one, multiplied for every person moving.
Reply Retweet Like
Kyle Shevlin 14 Sep 18
Replying to @kyleshevlin
Leaving a community is a lot like divesting, but generally at a loss. Anyone who has moved understands when I say that a change in proximity changes a relationship. You rarely maintain the value of your relational investment.
Reply Retweet Like
Kyle Shevlin 14 Sep 18
Replying to @kyleshevlin
What is often lost in the divestment is a support community, which is, ironically, the very thing needed when dealing with the hardships of relocation.
Reply Retweet Like
Kyle Shevlin 14 Sep 18
Replying to @kyleshevlin
Sociological studies show over and over that it takes 1-2 years to begin to re-establish some semblance of community when one relocates. This is magnified if one doesn't have community building outlets.
Reply Retweet Like
Kyle Shevlin 14 Sep 18
Replying to @kyleshevlin
I will use my own anecdata to speak to this. When we moved to Portland, I found a job quickly. My wife did not. My job provided at least some people to interact with. My wife had no one. She was depressed for the better part of a year and a half.
Reply Retweet Like
Kyle Shevlin 14 Sep 18
Replying to @kyleshevlin
I would go to work knowing that she was mentally struggling, with no support network, alone and hurting. I'd come home to her in tears often. Let me tell you, no one does their best work when they know they have hurting family members at home.
Reply Retweet Like
Kyle Shevlin 14 Sep 18
Replying to @kyleshevlin
This period of communitylessness is exacerbated because there are fewer "third places" in our current society, places where people voluntarily can gather outside of home (first place) and work (second place).
Reply Retweet Like
Kyle Shevlin 14 Sep 18
Replying to @kyleshevlin
The Church is essentially the most common third place any more, but if you're not a pat of that culture, you have very few options. Bars are expensive and unhealthy. Not every can join a sports team or community theater, etc.
Reply Retweet Like
Kyle Shevlin
We don't even pay attention to this. The pastor/philosopher in me gets frustrated with the lack of concern over the loss of community. Instead, we have tried to replace our relationship to other people with the relationship to our work and work place.
Reply Retweet Like More
Kyle Shevlin 14 Sep 18
Replying to @kyleshevlin
I understand many of you appreciate getting out of your house and seeing people. I get this entirely. But doesn't it suggest that something is wrong with how we have organized our world? Shouldn't those needs be met by friends and not colleagues?
Reply Retweet Like
Kyle Shevlin 14 Sep 18
Replying to @kyleshevlin
To bring this back to relocation, I have worked hard to establish some friendships here in Portland. They took me years to develop. My wife has a few friends that I know are key to her mental health. Asking me to move for a _job_ is asking way too much of me.
Reply Retweet Like
Kyle Shevlin 14 Sep 18
Replying to @kyleshevlin
Unless a work place can guarantee, which it CAN'T, that I can quickly establish new social groups, support networks, for me and my wife, and one day possibly for children, then it is a cost that I cannot bear.
Reply Retweet Like
Kyle Shevlin 14 Sep 18
Replying to @kyleshevlin
No amount of money fixes these problems. Only time, proximity, and opportunity fix these problems. Those things are in shorter and shorter supply as we age.
Reply Retweet Like
Kyle Shevlin 14 Sep 18
Replying to @kyleshevlin
If I relocate, which will happen some day, when we get a home or perhaps have to move to take care of family, I want it to be on my terms. I will be better able to handle the divestment that I worked so hard for.
Reply Retweet Like
Kyle Shevlin 14 Sep 18
Replying to @kyleshevlin
When it is completely within the realm of possibility to do quality work without the need to divest from community, I cannot fathom why businesses and companies continue to ask us to bear the full brunt of this divestment.
Reply Retweet Like
Kyle Shevlin 14 Sep 18
Replying to @kyleshevlin
Now, if you are young, or want a change, or need a change, etc, I fully support you taking a job and moving. If that is what you need, then please do so. But this doesn't need to be the standard for everyone.
Reply Retweet Like
Kyle Shevlin 14 Sep 18
Replying to @kyleshevlin
Now, I recognize that my unwillingness to give up my hard-earned community will prevent me from being able to work at some places I think I'd really love to, or work with people I really want to. It's not lost on me.
Reply Retweet Like
Kyle Shevlin 14 Sep 18
Replying to @kyleshevlin
But knowing we have the tools and ability to overcome the challenge of relocation, and yet our inertia prevents us from embracing the opportunity before us, that bothers me. It's why I had to say something.
Reply Retweet Like
Kyle Shevlin 14 Sep 18
Replying to @kyleshevlin
I want to conclude with this, I hope where ever you are, you're community needs are being met. I know that's not an easy thing to accomplish. If they aren't, ironically, you're not alone. Get creative, and ask for help. End rant.
Reply Retweet Like