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Kirah Johnson
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Tweets
Kirah Johnson retweeted
Danny Palumbo Mar 24
All I remember about college is that everyone was saying the word dichotomy. The teachers, the students. I heard a janitor say it once.
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Kirah Johnson Mar 22
Replying to @TheMrsKnowles
Perhaps not. But he’ll kill you, on purpose, while maintaining eye contact. So.
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Kirah Johnson Mar 16
Watching lego Batman ... Alex, 5: you know what the Joker does? He jokes. He’s funny Me: tell that to Rachel and the rest of Gotham City Alex: what? Me, batman voice: WHERES RACHEL? WHERE IS SHE? Alex: stop.
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Kirah Johnson Mar 15
Replying to @QueerEye
JJ works a lot this weekend. Like a lot. But between this and new episodes I think I’m set
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Kirah Johnson Mar 15
We are babysitting a bunny for some LITERAL STRANGER who requested help on Facebook. It’s the best thing Facebook has ever done for me.
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Kirah Johnson retweeted
RainnWilson Mar 13
I have decided to enter the race for the 2020 Democratic Presidential Nomination. So has my friend Gary. Also our cleaning woman, Cheryl. & my uncle Ronnie. & all the guys on my over 40 tennis team. Plus the entire cast of the Office minus Creed.
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Kirah Johnson retweeted
Nardre Dame Mar 13
socrates: to do is to be plato: to be is to do scooby: do be do
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Kirah Johnson Mar 9
I get it... but I feel like you could’ve named it something else.
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Kirah Johnson Mar 2
Replying to @ThatGalTaylor
😭😭😭😭 come be with me
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Kirah Johnson Feb 17
JJ to me: “you are my Toby”
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Kirah Johnson Jan 8
Replying to @lizzybozzy
HAHAHAHAHAH
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Kirah Johnson retweeted
The Original Waffle Jan 5
I think “Avengers: Age of Ultron” should have been named “Avengers: A Couple of Days of Ultron”.
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Kirah Johnson Dec 29
Replying to @joshnanna
Damnnn this is good. But legally complicated probably. Did you know if you EVER get a tattoo in California, you can NEVER donate plasma? Harsh rules for sketch places
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Kirah Johnson retweeted
Bob Goff Dec 22
The way we love each other lets everybody know the baby in the manger isn't just a decoration.
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Kirah Johnson Dec 23
Kids slept over at grandparents last night. JJ and I both dreamed they were kidnapped. Woke up at 7am anyways. There is no escape.
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Kirah Johnson Dec 19
I love JJ because he only ever drinks half a can of pop (??? What a dummy right?) and then I get to finish it
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Kirah Johnson Dec 14
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Kirah Johnson retweeted
🤑gnatalie🤑 Dec 13
me: hello 911 operator: hello what’s ur emergency me: these men won’t stop laughing operator: ok yea that’s annoying but not a crime me: wtf is manslaughter then
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Kirah Johnson Dec 3
Drive past retirement home and I say 'thats where old people live.' Alex says 'oh is that heaven?'
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Kirah Johnson Dec 2
IN CASE ANYONE WAS WONDERING having a period for five days is way worse than being pregnant for nine months* *in my experience. *but (important side note) in nearly all ways, having kids is way worse than having a period. So..
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