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Timothy
|| stl cardinals || oak raiders || || mostly libertarian || might mess around and run for governor of illinois in 2022 idk
1,342
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138
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31
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Tweets
Timothy Aug 22
Replying to @iliketomakestuf
This is awesome. Any future plans for automated litter box or feeder? My cat leave the toilet paper alone, luckily.
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Timothy Aug 22
when I click a tracking number inside the PayPal app, it opens in safari and makes me login before redirecting me to USPS. That. Is. Stupid. Just take me to USPS. Fix this BUG!
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Timothy Aug 22
as long as he doesn’t have a cubs sticker (even “ironically”) on his car, it’s all good.
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Timothy Aug 21
hey, I like you. But who all did you give my email address to, and why are they sending me shit without an “unsubscribe” button? I use specific email addresses for everything I sign up for.
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Timothy Aug 21
Fuck this rain, I need to go inside.
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Timothy Aug 21
Replying to @GovPritzker
Immigrants != illegal immigrants. We are very welcoming of those who come here legally.
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Timothy Aug 21
And last but not least: 3. You mentioned Chicago in your video too many times and Illinois not enough. I know cook county won you the election, but you represent all of us. Don’t forget that. Have a good day. You did a good deed today, but you have a long way to go.
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Timothy Aug 21
Several things, Lt. governor, 1. I agree that felons should be allowed to vote. So good job there. And I mean that. 2. BUT, felons also deserve the rights of the 2nd amendment. So fix that next, k? While you’re at it, foid is an infringement, so abolish it.
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Timothy Aug 21
Replying to @GovPritzker
It’s a no from me, dog.
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Timothy Aug 19
When you tell her you’re going to propose with a ring pop but she thinks you’re joking 🤓🤓🤓
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Timothy Aug 19
Yo stop fuckin around and give me that serum y’all gave to Captain America.
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Timothy Aug 19
Replying to @TomiLahren
We’ll stop demonizing when they go back to actually protecting and serving and not just money grabbing
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Timothy Aug 19
If my tax dollars pay the adoption fees and training for a cute little puppy, then the police are not legally allowed to tell me I can’t pet it. I can do what I want.
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Timothy Aug 18
My google home can play rain sounds but not give me the smell of rain on a lazy Sunday, so technology still has a long way to go.
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Timothy Aug 18
Every morning drop a small rock of crack into a shot of vodka. By bed time, the 2 will form a paste, which works as an excellent teeth whitener.
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Timothy Aug 18
Replying to @KamalaHarris
Yes, please do this!!!!!!!! It’s going to be so much fun to watch Trump wipe the floor with you.
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Timothy Aug 18
Not sure why I got an ad for this, but I’m definitely interested. $600 is a steal, but that $55,000 shipping will set me back a little...
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Timothy Aug 17
This is hilarious
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Timothy Aug 17
Replying to @TSA @realDonaldTrump
get rid of TSA.
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Timothy Aug 17
if your waste of tax money, shit ass employees, who are my servants (as a taxpayer), are going to go though my checked bag, you better put everything back in the exact spot you found it, which you didn’t do. Fuuuuck you
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