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That time we looked at buying an empty town where a massacre happened.

Location, location, location.
Jenny Lawson 8 Feb 17
Me: You know how I never let you buy me jewelry or fancy clothes or a new car bc that shit's a ridiculous waste of money? Victor: ...Yeah?
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Jenny Lawson 8 Feb 17
Me: So I found this abandoned ghost town that's for sale. Victor: *sigh*
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Jenny Lawson 8 Feb 17
A WHOLE TOWN NO ONE ELSE LIVES IN. It's like it was made for introverts. And whenever I get mad at America I can just secede for the day.
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c0nc0rdance 8 Feb 17
Replying to @TheBloggess
Jenny in a few years.
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Jenny Lawson 8 Feb 17
So, long story short, today we're driving to look at a clearance sale, old west ghost town. Like you do.
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Anna Izenman 8 Feb 17
Replying to @TheBloggess
It's the perfect place to start the Bloggess' Commune For People Who Need To Escape Shit For A Day Or Two.
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Joy Pearson 8 Feb 17
Replying to @TheBloggess
the town slogan could be, "You're welcome here, just don't expect us to come talk to you"
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Sarah 8 Feb 17
Replying to @TheBloggess
let's all pitch in and buy it together. It will be the weirdest town and we will love it. Then tourists will come and ruin it.
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Jenny Lawson 8 Feb 17
Uh. This is the road we're taking to the ghost town. This might be a trap.
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xanaru 8 Feb 17
Replying to @TheBloggess
if u see a cornfield do not proceed. Children in there are NOT nice
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Jenny Lawson 8 Feb 17
So...I guess this is how they keep the people out? Do we go on foot from here? Victor emphatically says no.
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Manders 8 Feb 17
Replying to @TheBloggess
It's almost as though you're in the process of live-tweeting a horror show. Good luck and have fun.
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Jenny Lawson 8 Feb 17
Gps: YOU HAVE REACHED YOUR DESTINATION. Us: We have?
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Stacie Flick 8 Feb 17
Replying to @TheBloggess
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(((karelj)))โ˜  8 Feb 17
Replying to @TheBloggess
See, us black folk would have already been outta there. Why you white folk keep pushing your luck? RUN!!!!!
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Jenny Lawson 8 Feb 17
1. We haven't been murdered. 2. There's a saloon.
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Jenny Lawson 8 Feb 17
3. This place feels haunted as shit. 4. It's like Westworld but with less robot nudity. 5. Saloon.
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Jenny Lawson 8 Feb 17
6. I can't afford this. 7. But the taxidermy comes with the town.
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Nancy Toothaker 8 Feb 17
Replying to @TheBloggess
Can you see where people have tried to stick things in it's butthole? 'Cause I'm POSITIVE it's happened. You know it.I know it.
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Jenny Lawson 8 Feb 17
8. There's a church. But something is living in it. 9. The doorknobs are giving me mixed signals. Get a priest.
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Maureen 8 Feb 17
Replying to @TheBloggess
"something is living in it"
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Joy Pearson 8 Feb 17
Replying to @TheBloggess
so..... when do you move in?
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Jenny Lawson 8 Feb 17
10. I'm currently in jail. But on purpose, for once.
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Jenny Lawson 8 Feb 17
Victor: This place is falling apart. Me: Yes, but it's falling apart so beautifully.
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Nina Schulze 8 Feb 17
Replying to @TheBloggess
"I'm falling apart so beautifully." Should be on a shirt.
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Jenny Lawson 8 Feb 17
The town has a bunkhouse. "Fully furnished." Real estate agent: "DID YOU BRING YOUR GUNS?" Y'all, this is weird even for me.
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Jenny Lawson 8 Feb 17
Realtor: That's Plum Creek. Me: LIKE IN THE LAURA INGALLS BOOKS? Realtor: Don't know about her. There was a small massacre here though.
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Jenny Lawson 8 Feb 17
"Well, not quite a 'massacre'. They only recovered 11 bodies. It was a long time ago." - Realtor
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Margaret Walsh 8 Feb 17
Replying to @TheBloggess
Massacre on the Banks of Plum Creek... the title for your next book. ๐Ÿ˜€
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Dr. C 8 Feb 17
Replying to @TheBloggess
That realtor might not be a realtor. Just saying.
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ZoeBelle 8 Feb 17
Replying to @TheBloggess
Thank you for live tweeting your murder, it makes my day seem way less crappy
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Mr. Maxwell ๐ŸŒน 8 Feb 17
Replying to @TheBloggess
Do you want blood running up your walls? Because this is how you get blood running up your walls.
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Jenny Lawson 8 Feb 17
Victor: "So are we done here?" Me: "I'm just hanging out. Thinking about massacres and crippling debt."
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Melissa Bartoe 8 Feb 17
Replying to @TheBloggess
We can all chip in and a few times a year do some serious "Little House on the Prairie" cosplay.
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Jenny Lawson 8 Feb 17
I love how many of you are telling me to crowdfund the purchase of what I assume would be my eventual murder location. This is community.
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Jenny Lawson 8 Feb 17
I'm WAY too lazy for crowdfunding. But, as requested, I am selling this shirt to fund future ridiculousness.
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Angela 8 Feb 17
I'm still stunned by the idea that the realtor doesn't know about Laura Ingalls Wilder books. But hey, bonus massacre.
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