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It's Mike I Guess 6m
: so we have your resume, Mike. Me: Thank you. I think I have a lot to offer the D&D franchise and the stories you wish to tell. WotC: your resume just says “buddy cop comedy starring Grog Strongjaw and Raistlin Majere. Me: Yes. WotC: they aren’t even in the same series.
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Xai 1h
: Hey Xai, we have your resume here. Me: Awesome! I'm so excited for this opportunity! WotC:...It just says, "I have no idea who I am or what I am doing, pls help" in 69-point font. Me: Nice.
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Thordak 26m
: Tell us about yourself, Mr. Cinderking. Me: The Cinder King. WotC: im sorry? Me: its Thordak, The Cinder King. That's my title. WotC: oh great another one.. Me: and you can't bully me like you did , I'm someone ELSE'S IP! Matt Mercer: yeah..about that.. Me:😬
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Zaney the Gamemaster 23m
: So you want to update d20 Modern AND Gamma World? Me: As a start. Wotc: Pardon? Me: Let's talk about Boot Hill and Gang Busters. I think we can fold this into the Modern line. We really need to diversify your portfolio. *Adjusts glasses* Shall we being?
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Adelaide Gardner 1h
: We've got your resume here, Adelaide. Me: Hey, that's great. I think I've got a lot to offer the team. WotC: It just has "big boobs" written in 24pt Papyrus. Me: Yes.
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Kelli🎶#OperaGeek 48m
: Let us look at this resume here....so, your qualifications you state for the job are that you sing opera...? Me: *Scoff* Of course not, I don't ONLY sing opera WotC: Oh, OK! What are your... Me: I also roll a H*CKIN TON of nat ones. WotC: *slow blink*
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Craig Morgan aka Groon 🔜 Garycon! 5m
: HI Craig, we have your resu... Stack of unfinished campaign settings and adventures. Me: yes I think you'll find them delightful! WOTC: *flipping through them* you haven't finished any of these have you... Me: *voice cracking holding back tears* Yes... I think you...
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Jazz is So Tired 4m
: We’ve got your resume here, Jazz. Me: That’s great! I found it in a box! WOTC: But it just says “[‘χaː.ka.ka.ka.ka]”? Me: Yes. Could you hold this obelisk for me? Just for like, twelve seconds.
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Danny, w/ Symmetrical Nipples Like Your Husband’s 36m
: Danny, thanks for coming in! We just wanted to– Me: oh yes I know *slides box over* WotC: *Opens box* WotC: there’s just a meatball and a framed picture of your dog in here and a tweet of yours that’s printed out on cardstock that got 4 retweets and 17 likes Me: yes.
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𝒢𝑜𝒷𝓁𝒾𝓃𝓀𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑒 29m
: Hi Katie, we have your resume here. Me: Awesome, I think I have a lot to offer your team! WotC: It‘s just a photo of a mountain of dice and a cup of tears? Me: I think it speaks for itself. WotC: You’re hired.
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Goodbat Nightman (Medium Undead) 22m
: Ok Octo, we've brought you on to help us bring some fresh ideas to Whatcha got? Me: I think you’re gonna love it. *slides over design document* WotC: This is just 348 pages of religious angst and very fuckable NPCs. Me:
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Jacob S Kellogg 40m
: So your resume says you've designed and produced multiple bestsellers, mostly focused on filling gaps in our content? Me: That's right! WotC: But are you qualified? Me: ? WotC: That is, are you a member of any of the friend circles that overlap w/ existing staff?
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Bad Chilii 1h
: We've got your resume here, Mike Me: Thank you, I'm so happy for this chance to show you my stuff! WotC: It just has "Wild West Owlbears" written in 72pt Comic Sans. Me: Yes.
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Toss a coin to your shit poster 1h
: Ok Wally, I am liking your rough draft for this new Monster Manual content. Wally: I am glad you like it. Wotc: Right, one question though: is teh chapter Sexy Goblinoids needed? Me: Yes.
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Gavin O'Brien ❄️ 1h
: Hey Gavin, we've been reviewing your resume... Me: Finally! I think I'll be a great addition to your team. WotC: It just repeats, "Bring back skill challenges, you cowards!" over and over for three pages. Me: *Nods*
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The DM in Yellow 1h
: OK Yellow, thanks for submitting your resume. We appreciate your interest Me: Thanks guys. I hope you we can make this work. I'd be a great fit for the team. WotC: Sure sure. But why do our noses bleed when we read it? Me: Iä Cthulhu! Iä Hastur! Iä Yog-Sothoth!
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Pepper the Paladin 🌕 Now with T! 💉 12/11/19 1h
: we love e your world building ideas, but do the all have to be gay? Me:.... have you met me?
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Jason (Jay) Miscia 53m
: Jay, we received your resume and have some questions. Me: Great! I think I have a lot to offer. WoTC: It just says “Werewolves Versus Puppets: An Epic Saga. And it’s written in crayon. Me: Yes. WoTC: Is this stick figure meant to be you holding bags of money? Me: Yes.
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Josh Burnett 📢 Them's Monsters! on KS 14m
: Thanks for coming in, JB. We're interested in hearing your ideas for the next iteration of D&D. Me: Thanks for the opportunity! I've put together a Power Point with my proposals. WotC: It's... It's just 37 slides of gnomes? Me: Don't forget the Kender.
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TheSassiestNPC♿🌈⛦ 40m
: We've received your resume Emmy... Me: Yes. And I think I bring a lot to the table. WotC: It's an entire essay on why there should be a sex worker background and a list of ideas for costume drugs with magical effects... Me: Yes. My characters like to party.
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