Twitter | Search | |
Search Refresh
Erika Agnew Sep 14
Vaping: holy shit you mean inhaling something that your lungs aren’t meant to causes problems?!?!??
Reply Retweet Like
Kelly’s Rash Sep 14
Vicki: “How does Braunwyn have an opinion on me. Instagram users: She’s watched the show.
Reply Retweet Like
Taylor Malott 3h
My husband asked me “Why do you think I married you?” Me(straight faced): Why wouldn’t you? I’m fucking fabulous. 💁‍♀️💁‍♀️
Reply Retweet Like
Jennifer Nash Sep 16
My librarian fail for today: a student was looking for 'The Monthly' magazine. I asked her if she new how often new issues were released. I think you could actually hear the crashing sound my brain made as I realised what I'd just said.
Reply Retweet Like
Dutch10 Sep 4
When the Phillies gave Jimmy Rollins a custom painted Mizuno glove, said, “You really don’t see Mizuno gloves anymore.” as the camera pans to a player wearing a Mizuno glove.
Reply Retweet Like
eastcoastphoenix 6h
I need new boots. Who wants to give me $60?! No one?
Reply Retweet Like
devin setoguchi Sep 7
What’s worse the Kardashians or Antonion Brown?
Reply Retweet Like
chris smith Sep 8
Hey, if my shoulder joint hurts all the time is that bad? I really need to go see a Doc
Reply Retweet Like
theCorbynator Sep 16
Replying to @cnni @CNNOpinion
To bomb the living shit out of them and steal the country's oil.
Reply Retweet Like
Thomas J. Dolce 3h
Replying to @ewarren
I like the part in the constitution where it says you have the right to life.
Reply Retweet Like
JustJackie Sep 9
Hundreds kicked out of school have NOTHING to do so they take a field trip to Albany NY to let the Board of Regents and know building security says he don’t like this! Oh well if they were in school they wouldn’t be here!
Reply Retweet Like
TheThingFromTheCrypt Sep 16
When even Satan has more of a clue than anyone else...
Reply Retweet Like
BoSox04 Sep 14
The left's latest genius weighs in to give Seano, best parody acct out here, a piece of his mind. He doesn't seem to have any to spare, though. Let's welcome to the Club, where he & the others can man the Trump 2020 re-election phones.
Reply Retweet Like
Victoria O'Kane 9h
Turns out the airline mechanic who sabotaged that plane a couple weeks ago & blamed stalled union talks is an ISIS sympathizer! Who didn’t see that coming?!
Reply Retweet Like
Mark McNevin 4h
Oh. It’s an emergency alright
Reply Retweet Like
LT 3h
Look up delusional in the dictionary and there’s Cliff’s picture
Reply Retweet Like
John Leask 4h
And we get rich through the redistribution of wealth! Econ 101! Steal from some, give to others, suffer together.
Reply Retweet Like
Alex Islas 27m
Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly.
Reply Retweet Like
👽🔮 28m
It's so crappy that bots don't show up to rallies...or vote...eh Andy?
Reply Retweet Like
MIZZ DEE DIGGS 11h
Im having myself a birthday party in 1 week on 9/25 😏 I been needing a good ass disco tribal house down to slide summer into autumnal New York vibes... I know my friends will deliver 🖤👑 if you’re in Brooklyn come wish me a happy 25th! 🧡
Reply Retweet Like