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Nathan Gallion 6h
A student wrote in a paper that he’d “rather be a farmer than a plant owner” and I 100% pointed out the obvious in that sentence.
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H.C. Vertigo 8h
Doing some space trucking through Pyro recently and my AC broke. So I went to the cargo depo and filled up on Chlorine, Florine, and Diamonds; that way I can have a cool cat.
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emanahan 5h
This is the part of Ohio I forget exists... at least The Children of the Corn can't hide in soy beans
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icanhazdadjoke 3h
I was just looking at my ceiling. Not sure if it’s the best ceiling in the world, but it’s definitely up there.
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Mark Newton Sep 17
I’ve just agreed a sale of a house where the toilet has no cistern. The only reason the buyers are going ahead is because it’s chain free!
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Aiden Hatfield 14h
If 2x2 makes 4... 3x3 makes 9... 4x4 makes 16... And 5x5 makes 25... How come 0x0 makes stock cubes⁉️ I don't care how bad that was... It's freaking funny 😂 🖤🤘
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GroanBot - Daily Dad Jokes & Puns 2h
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie. /
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💥 Ryan M 💥 Sep 15
What do Ducks smoke?? Quack! 🦆😂🤣
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Scott W. Ambler 2h
3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population.
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Hands of Darkness 7h
Replying to @acarboni
His favourite soup is Cock-a-Leekie
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Wizardly 10h
How did the mathrock guitarist commune with ghosts? He tapped into the spirit world.
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StickFigureSkating Sep 16
ACIHOP (Autumn Classic International House of Pancakes) 🍁🥞
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Gareth Williams 15h
Replying to @BBCNews
What would hold the telephone wires up?
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💩 s̾i̾r̾ l̾u̾r̾p̾e̾e̾ 💩 Sep 17
I bought a bunch of cheap watches from the thrift store. I wanted to link them together into a belt. Then I realized it would be a waist of time. 😏
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David Bell 2h
Phillies more like FAILies
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Brett Lewis 23h
Replying to @allyshachapman
You’ll have to submit a letter in braille because the ref’s blind
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Amir Yazdani 17h
Can you still tell a if your only child dies? 🤔
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Jim Stadick Sep 17
Alba brought home beeswax from school and she left it out on the table and I definitely just got to say “mind your beeswax” and I’m feeling pretty good about it.
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Colby Ring Sep 15
Replying to @AnthonyStarke
Your dad is showing 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Joe Bowles 13h
If I had a nickel for every bread pun, I'd have a pun per nickel.
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