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Steve Redmond Jul 4
Dearest Wife: I hope this letter finds you safe in Canada. News from the front is that the mad king has ordered a grand military display for the 4th. Pondering this odd behaviour, some have suggested it’s related to his penis size.
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Steve Redmond Sep 9
General Teigen: It appears your tweeted volley has hit the mark. General PAB has enlisted the aid of his troll army in order to damp down the injury to his ego. The brigade remains at your service, awaiting instructions.
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Steve Redmond Aug 16
Dearest Wife: Word from the front is that the other side is recruiting mercenaries to sit through the long, rambling campaign of their failing leader. Recruitment is down. Many are buying tickes to Greenland. Victory is near.
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Greenhills Democrat Jul 4
Retweeting because was a hilarious hashtag a year ago today
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Minerva Cyotha 🌊🐬👓 Feb 16
I can't sleep. The national emergency is giving me flashbacks to the Second Civil War. Will we ever stop lurching from crisis to crisis?
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Jen Jul 2
Dearest I am afraid the war news is grim. Supplies are so low, the emperor’s daughter has taken to wearing draperies and strapped a spare Kotex to her forehead. The emperor has decided to hold a small-dick measuring contest in lieu of the 4th. The Horror!
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OverJayed Jul 2
Send help. 650,000 people are following a cow that is being sued.
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Will in Seattle Jul 4
Dearest, we have burned all the Trump statues, as they are made from cheap imported materials, and are having a great bonfire to celebrate the fall of Mad King Don
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YS Jul 2
What does this country need right now? Last year, we had a glorious time after Alex-Bag-of-Donuts-Jones declared the 2nd Civil War was coming on 7/4/18 and the birth of came into our lives. C’mon MAGA Morons, say something stupid. Do it for your country.
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princessloie Jul 4
From a year ago. Ah the memories.
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Alix J Jul 4
Dear Country, never forget how much I love you. Lo, the battle of the Red Hats is upon us. When my last breath escapes me on the battlefield it will whisper “Obama”.
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Wyatt Derp May 26
Replying to @profagagne @jason_a_w
For a quality entertainment form of art on this topic see
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CapnLazer Jul 3
Replying to @leeleeb50
Dearest Eulabelle; I still have no idea why the hell everyone uses shit like Starbucks in all these but we managed to pull a feint and captured The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf instead. NEVER SAW IT COMING!
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Erica Brown May 21
I miss the One of the best things to happen on Twitter in 2018!
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Jen Jul 2
Dearest. I am afraid the news is even worse.The Trump of July is forcing military participation in the abominable weather fueled by climate change. There will be much fainting.But fear not, the emperor is constructing a pagoda for himself with serfs to fan
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Louise Mensch Dec 9
Replying to @KurtSchlichter
Colonel, we did already, remember? And you guys lost. Get down, stay down and keep those fingers widely spread, where I can see them. Patriots 1, 🇷🇺 assets zip.
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Robin Dake Feb 17
I wonder if the Library of Congress will shelve next to . Important historical record to be kept!
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AssCat Jul 4
Dearest Husband, We have heard of this parade for the President with the tiny mushroom penis. We are quite dismayed at all the efforts and costs. Please stay clear of At-15 muskets.
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Sandy Ward Jul 2
Dear Wasps, Please encase the whole state of Alabama and take it away. Thank you, All Sane People
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Lady Landinn de Marest Jul 4
Happy Independence Day. Reporting from the Western Front. The MAGAt troops are in disarray when confronted with a literate, caffeinated foe. We offer them gay frog legs and iced frappucinos...they run in fear
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