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Mary David-Snow Nov 11
It was the death of Byron Carter, a friend of Cadillac's founder, that ended Cadillac's engine. Death by crank? The crank backfired, broke his jaw, and gangrene killed him. Any other nerdy trivia? They used to smuggle crank in the crankshaft.
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Mary David-Snow Nov 12
👵I if I can't sleep because I'm tweeting. 🐰You might be tweeting because you can't sleep. 👵It's the blue light. I forgot to switch to dark theme. 🐰Do it. 👵Aah. That's better. 🐰Are you sleepy now? 👵... 🐰You're asleep. 👵I'm tweeting.
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Smarty Marty Nov 10
I find your salacious talk offending. What? Salacious? You're here, in this bar, all by yourself. So? A man knows that means you're looking for a good time. Really? Of course. Well, of I did want a 'good time', a**hole, you'd be the last person I'd talk to.
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Aspen✒️©️AspenBrave®™ Nov 12
How did you die? Froze to death-You? Heart Attack. How? I wasn’t on -I caught my husband cheating-but I couldn’t find HER anywhere-I still where she was hiding? Bitch-if you’d looked in the deep freezer we’d both still be alive.
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Carrie 🌻 17h
‘Grandpa. What was your favourite lesson at school?’ ‘Woodwork.’ ‘What’s woodwork?’ ‘It’s when you learn to make things with wood. You have to be good at measuring.’ ‘Oh, I’m good at measuring. My favourite subject is .’ ‘Well, let’s go find some wood.’
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Kay Hammett Nov 12
Fashion Designer Her creative heart An dream Of a perfect layout pattern Rinsing out her errs And up Her vogue ideas in Hopes of styling the Garment of . . .
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Sense of Wonder is in Nano mode Nov 11
We just got a call from the IRS saying we owe 10 years back taxes. To 'pay up or else.' I wonder if that's ethical? Probably a crank call. Why? Well first of all, the IRS doesn't make phone calls. And second? We owe way more than that.
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George Miller Nov 9
Glad to be home? Of course. Finally got to see my son’s new baby. But did you like it over there? Germany? Yeah, I loved it. What will you miss most? Really? Yeah. Well the Germans have really figured out toilet paper. I could go on for hours. That’s okay.
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Jennifer Hibbs 18h
Ur not from here. How'd u guess? "Dahn here" isn't exactly local talk. I'm from the north. I wonder lately what I was thinking moving here. My life is in limbo; I'm completely lost. Sometimes being lost let's us find a door we never knew was there.
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Carrie 🌻 6h
‘Grandpa. Did you go to the when you were a boy?’ ‘Yes. We used to have one that came here every year.’ ‘Did you see clowns?’ ‘Yes. I learned to juggle by watching them.’ ‘You can juggle?!’ ‘Shall I show you?’ ‘Yes!’ ‘Let’s go and find some apples.’
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Soma Datta is doing NaNoWriMo 😱 10h
Mom, can I go out tonight? Not till you finish your homework, kid. WHAT?! It’s Friday. So? Can we talk about this? No, I’m crabby. What if I bring you chocolate? Your favorite? Be back by curfew after you drop it off. (crab) 1220
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Jennifer Hibbs Nov 6
If I could tell him how I feel, maybe he'd see me. I don't know, I mean sounds risky to just blab those feelings to someone who doesn't really even notice you're around. I can't breathe when he's near, and he has no idea. How unfair is that. Tis life, my friend.
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Michael D. Brooks Nov 12
"Mom said it up, bust a move, and get the roof fixed, Pop." "It'll get fixed when I get around to it." "Here." "What's this?" "It's a round tuit. Mom made it for you. She said don't on it. Just fix it."
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Mary David-Snow 6h
Prof. Euclid, Lincoln is using one of your elements to argue for the Emancipation Proclamation. Abe is such a clever boy. Which element? The 1st. If things equal the same thing, then the 2 things are equal. Bravo. How is Abe? Dead, sir. Like you.
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Joy 🇳🇿 Nov 11
‘Next interviewee please! Deja View - I've seen your name before? How well do you perform under pressure?’ Honestly? I’m better at We Will Rock You ‘Now, between 2002 and May 2015 there's a large gap in your CV? Sorry, I fell asleep on the spacebar
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AntrimCycle Nov 11
"At the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month. That was the day of the Armistice for WWI. It was supposed to be the war to end all wars." "When did they change the name to Veterans Day?" "When we marched off to war again in World War II."
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ShauNaNoWriMo(ShaunaMcG-find me!) Nov 4
-Dad, I need to borrow the Honda. -No. -But, I’ve got a date! -Already told you: if you don’t get degrades, you don’t get decar.
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jfx mcloughlin Nov 12
I wonder if you would release the names of your members. I don’t think that would be ethical, however you’re welcome to fill out an application to join us. No thanx, I’m of the Groucho Marx school of club joining. ² 188
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shona moss Nov 7
"Buy a bigger house and live in the ." "Uh oh." "What?" "You're singing Fast Car, which means you're feeling blue." "I do remember your arm feeling nice wrapped round my shoulder, it just feels heavy now." "You're having a bad day, it will feel nice again."
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Joy 🇳🇿 4h
'G'day bro, did you hear the one about the statistician?' "Yeah, nah, probably" 'Guess who I saw today? Our old math teacher, Mr Ease' "I remember him, he used to us in decimals, but I never quite got the point" 'Poor man had a lot of problems'
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