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Rick G. Rosner
World's 2nd-highest IQ. Former Jimmy Kimmel writer. Genius &/or deluded. Read my tweet-thread memoir, "How to Be a Genius," right here!
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Rick G. Rosner 1h
Many tweets say Trump expecting praise for ending family separation is like Trump setting a house on fire & expecting thanks for putting it out. Which isn't true. If Trump set a house on fire, it'd be worth $135,000, insured for $4 million & then sold to Russians for $8.5 million
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Rick G. Rosner 2h
Replying to @IvankaTrump @POTUS
You're in a tough position with your father. But not the tough position he imagines you in just before he falls asleep.
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Rick G. Rosner 4h
Replying to @JohnCornyn
More and more it seems Rs are a skidmark on the underpants of history.
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Rick G. Rosner 6h
Replying to @jamisonfoser
Agree. Some airport will put in a gym, but it'll cost $25 for a day pass.
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Rick G. Rosner 6h
Replying to @ModelSupplies
Perhaps in 50 years, we'll be able to live in a very convincing simulated alternate timeline where Trump was never Prez.
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Rick G. Rosner 22h
Corey Lewandowski mocking a girl w Down Syndrome by going "Womp womp" is not only cruel, it also makes no sense. It's the numbskull remark of a middle school bully who's been held back two grades.
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Rick G. Rosner 22h
Replying to @JRRoberts8
the anal solution
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Rick G. Rosner 22h
Replying to @PaulBlu
Nice timing, . That kind of flawed judgment probably means you shouldn't be in charge of anything.
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Rick G. Rosner 23h
Replying to @JRRoberts8
Way, way beyond being helped by Tucks.
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Rick G. Rosner 23h
Thank you!
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Rick G. Rosner 23h
Replying to @ModelSupplies
He said it.
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Rick G. Rosner 23h
Replying to @ModelSupplies
I think about a time machine multiple times a day.
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Rick G. Rosner 23h
Doubt I'd have the moral courage to quit Fox because of mind- and nation-destroying BS. However, while writing for a Fox show, I punched out a coworker, causing us to be immediately fired. Does that count?
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Rick G. Rosner Jun 19
Remember, the immigration crisis is mostly fake. So is the crime crisis. The number of undocumented immigrants in the US peaked in 2007 - 11 years ago. And violent crime has been declining since 1992.
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Rick G. Rosner Jun 19
They're just gonna get maple syrup and Tim Horton's coffee all over them anyway.
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Rick G. Rosner Jun 19
Liar. Crime in Germany is at its lowest rate since 1992 (three years after Trump raped his first wife).
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Rick G. Rosner Jun 19
Does "zero tolerance" mean that Barron Trump will be put in a camp because one parent violated immigration laws and the other parent is under investigation for violating state and federal statutes? (Also, living in that White House can't be a picnic.)
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Rick G. Rosner Jun 19
Replying to @TomiLahren
You're a soft eight on the outside and a zero on the inside.
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Rick G. Rosner Jun 18
May you get hemorrhoids as bad as my hemorrhoids.
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Rick G. Rosner Jun 18
Time Telegram™ To: Mrs. Fred Trump, July, 1945 Dear Mrs. Trump, Please use birth control during September and October or limit sexual contact with your husband to just hand jobs. Thank you, The Entire World in 2018
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