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Dr. Pete Meyers
Marketing Scientist at Moz (). Mad Hatter of MozCast (). The slow inhale is my jam.
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Dr. Pete Meyers 4h
Replying to @thedorkydiva
They lost me at blondes = stupid.
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Dr. Pete Meyers 6h
Replying to @dr_pete
Get the sack of polished rocks for $5 and save yourselves a sweaty hour in the garage, a few boards, part of the floor, a hammer, and a meat tenderizer.
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Dr. Pete Meyers 6h
If you're at a museum and think "Hey, these break-your-own geodes seem like a fun learning experience!" let me just stop you right there.
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Dr. Pete Meyers 6h
Not sure if that's a Hugo Award or a rocket cake, but you really can't go wrong either way. Congratulations!
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Dr. Pete Meyers 6h
Replying to @creditkarma
Equifax: "Now that we've carelessly exposed your data for profit, please provide us with more of your data to get a 10% coupon off our services (that made your life worse) instead of any reasonable legal settlement."
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Dr. Pete Meyers 6h
Kind of cool that tells me exactly what password was compromised in data breaches. More than Equifax will do for me, I'm sure.
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Dr. Pete Meyers Aug 17
Replying to @georgefreitag
Sitting in Costco this exact moment. Ice cream helps.
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Dr. Pete Meyers Aug 16
Replying to @arigesher
Granted, in my timeline, one of Han's crew is a snowman.
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Dr. Pete Meyers Aug 16
Replying to @arigesher
In my timeline, Lando had to downsize due to budget constraints ...
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Dr. Pete Meyers Aug 15
Nice, exfoliating cactus sugar rub for your ass is probably great, too, honestly.
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Dr. Pete Meyers Aug 15
Took me a second to realize that this was a meat preparation question, and not a skin-care regimen for your ass.
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Dr. Pete Meyers Aug 15
"Hear me out..." is the "I'm not sexist, but..." of AITA.
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Dr. Pete Meyers retweeted
Ryan Jones Aug 14
Friday 9/27. Detroit. 1/2 day conference & happy hour featuring me, and more. Only $20 - cheap! Why haven't you gotten a ticket yet?
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Dr. Pete Meyers Aug 15
Replying to @Optimisey @wonderwall7
No, you get back to work!
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Dr. Pete Meyers Aug 15
Replying to @Optimisey @wonderwall7
So, naturally, now I've dug up all the LEGO coffee cups we own and everyone on the ship is caffeinated.
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Dr. Pete Meyers Aug 15
Replying to @GlitterMarketer
When I was maybe 7 or 8, I lost a solar calculator (from K-Mart) at my friend's house. They found it years later in their sofa when they moved, and I kept using it for 10-15 years after that (into college).
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Dr. Pete Meyers Aug 15
Wow. I had honestly assumed this was an overzealous 6th-grade lit teacher or something.
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Dr. Pete Meyers Aug 15
Replying to @egabbert @dan_hornsby
I mean, seriously, I'd give that kid at least a B-.
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Dr. Pete Meyers Aug 15
Replying to @egabbert @dan_hornsby
(in pirate voice)
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Dr. Pete Meyers Aug 15
Replying to @egabbert @dan_hornsby
"Arr, the night; she was a dark and stormy one."
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