Twitter | Search | |
A Crime a Day
In 1982, the DOJ attempted to count the total number of federal crimes. The WSJ said 'Since then, no one has tried anything nearly as extensive.' Until...
3,561
Tweets
0
Following
118,559
Followers
Tweets
A Crime a Day 12m
"Talk Like A Pirate Day" is all fun and games until someone gets indicted. Don't get indicted. Buy this book instead.
Reply Retweet Like
A Crime a Day 21h
42 USC §271(a) & 42 CFR §70.4 make it a federal crime for the captain of a domestic airplane <gag> to not take reasonable measures <gag> to prevent the spread of a suspected communicable disease....
Reply Retweet Like
A Crime a Day 21h
Look, there are a lot of federal crimes you can commit with a Sharpie. Okay?
Reply Retweet Like
A Crime a Day 22h
Replying to @domarkus
Shut America down.
Reply Retweet Like
A Crime a Day Sep 17
Replying to @Austin_Koch
Live a little.
Reply Retweet Like
A Crime a Day Sep 17
Replying to @GarrettHaake
I’ll find something.
Reply Retweet Like
A Crime a Day Sep 17
Replying to @AmandaPresto
Let me see what I can do.
Reply Retweet Like
A Crime a Day Sep 17
Replying to @senatorshoshana
so long as the semen doesn't cross state lines.
Reply Retweet Like
A Crime a Day Sep 17
Replying to @CrimeADay
Happy Constitution Day.
Reply Retweet Like
A Crime a Day Sep 17
Replying to @CrimeADay
2018: Nobody's eating dogs and cats. Right? ARE PEOPLE EATING DOGS AND CATS?! Dammit.
Reply Retweet Like
A Crime a Day Sep 17
Replying to @CrimeADay
1993: WHAT IF AMERICA CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHERE TO PUT THEIR ATHLETE'S FOOT CREAM!?
Reply Retweet Like
A Crime a Day Sep 17
Replying to @CrimeADay
1974: Wait.... what if people want to misuse a cartoon owl's likeness? Or his slogan?
Reply Retweet Like
A Crime a Day Sep 17
Replying to @CrimeADay
1790: Okay, a few more. What if non-pirates want to hide or entertain pirates? Can't have that.
Reply Retweet Like
A Crime a Day Sep 17
1787: We should probably have .... like ... three federal crimes.
Reply Retweet Like
A Crime a Day Sep 16
Replying to @CrimeADay
...which is just a small part of America's long history of geyser-related idiocy, as discussed in this section of "How to Become a Federal Criminal" about the federal rule against throwing stuff into geysers ()
Reply Retweet Like
A Crime a Day Sep 16
18 USC §1865 & 36 CFR §7.13(j) make it a federal crime to walk off a boardwalk in a thermal area of Yellowstone.
Reply Retweet Like
A Crime a Day Sep 16
Will you still be running ?
Reply Retweet Like
A Crime a Day Sep 16
Replying to @senatorshoshana
heh heh.
Reply Retweet Like
A Crime a Day Sep 15
27 USC §§205, 207 & 27 CFR §5.22(b)(1)(ii) make it a federal crime to produce corn whisky exceeding 160 proof.
Reply Retweet Like
A Crime a Day Sep 14
Replying to @TimCushing
Someone needs a good tail-pinching.
Reply Retweet Like