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colleen
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colleen 2h
Five shots was a pregame in college and now I get one glass of wine in before talking about imposter syndrome to anyone who will listen
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SONYATELLA 3h
Me calling my lawyer (my mom) whenever the slightest inconvenience happens
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feminist next door May 23
1 in 4 women in your life have had an abortion. You didn’t know, because she’s a totally normal person, not a demon because the reasons for having one are individual and diverse because legal abortions are medically safe and because she’s been shamed into keeping it a secret.
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Caroline Framke May 24
I am ⚪️ single ⚪️ taken 🔘 VINDICATED 🔘 SELFISH 🔘 WRONG 🔘 RIGHT I SWEAR 🔘 RIGHT SWEAR I KNEW IT ALL ALONG AND 🔘 FLAWED BUT 🔘 CLEANING UP SO WELL 🔘 SEEING IN ME NOW THE THINGS YOU SWORE YOU SAW YOURSELF
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Levi May 23
Ladies picture this: you're driving to dinner at your in-laws with your husband and two kids singing sweet child of mine. Your voice is flat and sounds awful even though you spend $1200 a week on voice lessons, but luckily your husband Derek is able to save the song with his solo
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Lights, Camera, Pod May 24
The basketball scene from 'Catwoman' is the worst movie scene of all time.
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Kumail Nanjiani 17h
Shameful. Unfathomable. Disgraceful. 1,475 children. Lost. Why isn’t this the biggest news story in America???
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🌺Protect WOC globally 🌸 May 23
That’s what happens when women’s sexuality is framed as something for male entertainment & straight women pretend to be bisexual for aesthetics
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TayGo May 23
This boy will go to school the next day & be expected to learn, thrive, & be a model 1st generation son of immigrants. With his broken heart. As a teacher, I see everyday how schools aren't equipped to serve children traumatized by this oppressive system.
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Alex Witt May 24
Really powerful stuff here.
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colleen May 23
Can you still be punk rock if you’re subscribed to mommy blogs for the instant pot recipes
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Josh May 22
Do I agree with everything Tomi Lahren has to say? No. But do I feel that she should be able to visit my city without having a drink thrown at her during brunch? Also no.
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Holden Shearer May 22
Someone should probably tell the rich that workers banding together to present formal address of grievances is the alternative we worked out a long time ago to breaking down the factory owner's front door and beating him to death in front of his family? I feel like they forgot.
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Matthew the human trash bag May 20
Anxiety is literally just conspiracy theories about yourself
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colleen May 22
I’m not giving up my soccer dream, Dad. I’m giving up YOURS.
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Jess May 21
Shana Fisher did not "humiliate" the TX shooter. She rejected his advances. She stood up for herself. And by using "humiliated," the media is reinforcing the notion that Incels are victims. THEY ARE NOT. THEY ARE ENTITLED, COCKHURT SHITS WHO CAN'T HANDLE A SIMPLE "NO." FUCK THEM.
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Theo Nicole Lorenz May 21
My 73-year-old aunt wrote a poem about my pronouns in her church writing group and it’s the sweetest thing
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bb ghost May 20
ur friendly reminder that most women are constantly multitasking and planning ahead on multiple calendars and still communicating honestly and effectively while u can’t even handle eating a piece of toast and texting back at the same time
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saz ✨ May 18
Honestly anyone that still Snapchat’s their shitty music while driving please watch this
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colleen May 22
Replying to @mulaney @nbcsnl
I keep a screen cap of ’s previously rejected Lobster Diner sketch on my desk as a reminder that nothing is too dumb to pitch.
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