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Vampires for Buddhism
@
ChasingMyself
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Formerly into competitive meditation, now processing trauma and figuring my life out. All that we’re doing is what we think someone exactly like us would do.
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45
Tweetovi
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204
Pratim
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54
Osobe koje vas prate
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Vampires for Buddhism
@ChasingMyself
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12 h |
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Dibs on being on the team that has to travel back in time to the hippie era to bring Sexy back.
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Vampires for Buddhism
@ChasingMyself
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12 h |
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TIL that my spirit animal is this badass peacock. twitter.com/kenmcleod/stat…
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Vampires for Buddhism
@ChasingMyself
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3. velj |
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Thanks for the recommendation! That and Spectrum of Ecstasy have been on my to-read list. Unfortunately I’d be doing it alone and stability is a concern at the moment, so it may be something to try later on.
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Vampires for Buddhism
@ChasingMyself
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3. velj |
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This is sad but true. I really resent my wife and it’s the major reason why my marriage is falling apart, but am having a hard time letting go of it since every time I try to talk about why I’m resentful it just makes stuff worse. twitter.com/visakanv/statu…
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Vampires for Buddhism
@ChasingMyself
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2. velj |
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Grabbing the air and pulling myself up it. Or slowly sleeping through the ground and then fly-falling somewhere else.
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Vampires for Buddhism
@ChasingMyself
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27. sij |
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Thanks! I’m glad to hear that it’s gotten better for you. It’s kind of weird, but even though things have gotten a lot better it’s kind of hard to trust that they’ll continue to get better. I’m kind of light on actual formal practice at the moment, but I’ll check it out!
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Vampires for Buddhism
@ChasingMyself
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27. sij |
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That’s fair. What it comes down to is that I have a ton of resentment towards my wife. We’ve got 7 weeks left of trying to work on stuff, and if it’s not better by then then we get divorced and I get unstuck that way.
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Vampires for Buddhism
@ChasingMyself
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27. sij |
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BRB, tracking down some HS bullies.
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Vampires for Buddhism
@ChasingMyself
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27. sij |
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- Go lifting.
- Go running.
- Talk with a friend who will be understanding.
- While angry, try to keep noticing everything that’s going on that’s unrelated to the situation: neutral sensations like the sound of cars, the sight of trees in the wind, what strangers look like.
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Vampires for Buddhism
@ChasingMyself
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27. sij |
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A partial list of stop-gap options:
- Is there a boundary you need to set or enforce?
- Do you need a short or long break from being around the other person to let yourself cool down a bit?
- Work on being with the physical sensations like a flush of heat or tensed muscles.
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Vampires for Buddhism
@ChasingMyself
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27. sij |
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I’ve gotten a bunch of micro shifts from stuff like that — e.g. trying to reframe complaints or rumination as “things would be concretely better if XYZ”, doing 5 elements-based stuff, etc. It’s all been helpful, but it hasn’t really shifted the basic pattern that much.
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Vampires for Buddhism
@ChasingMyself
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27. sij |
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It’s also been tough on my relationship with my wife. Despite getting really good at not letting action urges encourage me to do anything dangerous, threatening, or insulting, she’s still found me just being really angry with her corrosive to our relationship.
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Vampires for Buddhism
@ChasingMyself
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27. sij |
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What that’s looked like in practice is having persistent urges to hit other people, including random strangers. I obviously haven’t ever followed through with it and have been doing plenty of work with anger both in and out of therapy. But it’s incredibly wearying to live with.
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Vampires for Buddhism
@ChasingMyself
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27. sij |
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One of the things I’ve been a bit surprised about is how little I’ve been seeing about anger as a challenging effect of trauma. By far the hardest part of the past two years for me has been dealing with anger that’s no longer repressible but not yet integrated. twitter.com/mattgoldenberg…
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Vampires for Buddhism
@ChasingMyself
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26. sij |
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The Preppy Handbook
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Vampires for Buddhism
@ChasingMyself
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20. sij |
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Yeah, those all ring a bell. Thanks!
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Vampires for Buddhism
@ChasingMyself
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19. sij |
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Scene: a watermelon sits on a stand, with a gun across the room.
It shoots a bullet towards it in slow motion. You’re pretty sure it’s one of those sciencey videos.
All of a sudden, a banana yells NOOOO in slow motion and jumps in front of the bullet.
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Vampires for Buddhism
@ChasingMyself
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16. sij |
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Have more sex by either healing my marriage’s dead bedroom or respectfully and collaboratively moving on from it.
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Vampires for Buddhism
@ChasingMyself
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14. sij |
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Thanks for writing this! I teared up reading it.
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Vampires for Buddhism
@ChasingMyself
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14. sij |
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I haven’t gotten a copy yet, but Shinzen Young recommends this book with photos of ordinary people who’ve had intense awakening experiences through adversity: amazon.com/Kind-Rapture-R…
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