Twitter | Search | |
Chase Mitchell
Formerly: Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. Currently: A constant state of fear and anxiety
8,550
Tweets
1,295
Following
55,895
Followers
Tweets
Chase Mitchell 18h
thank you everyone for your patience in waiting for me to try this one again without the typo
Reply Retweet Like
Chase Mitchell 18h
Fun game: Watch a Fast & Furious trailer on mute and count how many times you see someone mouth the word "family"
Reply Retweet Like
Chase Mitchell Mar 26
Wow more like DIVIDED Airlines huh 🤔
Reply Retweet Like
Chase Mitchell Mar 26
Didn't think it could get sadder than drinking alone at this bar at 1 PM, but then the bartender started calling me "boss"
Reply Retweet Like
Chase Mitchell Mar 25
is your dog named after the author of Jaws
Reply Retweet Like
Chase Mitchell Mar 24
Say what you will about the song The Boys Are Back In Town but for my money there is no easier way to find out where the boys currently are
Reply Retweet Like
Chase Mitchell retweeted
Erik Bergstrom Mar 24
Reply Retweet Like
Chase Mitchell Mar 24
House, Like Paul Ryan's Balls, In Recess
Reply Retweet Like
Chase Mitchell Mar 24
. I am so sick of winning
Reply Retweet Like
Chase Mitchell Mar 24
honestly still have no idea how they are different
Reply Retweet Like
Chase Mitchell Mar 24
barbara this is my life help
Reply Retweet Like
Chase Mitchell Mar 24
Me At Bar w/Laptop: I'm a serious writer who uses alcohol to lower my creative inhibitions Me After 2 Drinks: I'm a lil rascal
Reply Retweet Like
Chase Mitchell Mar 24
but... if avengers tower is still there... why isn't it there... in the netflix shows... *head explodes* *no one mourns me*
Reply Retweet Like
Chase Mitchell Mar 24
I don't want the government dictating when I die. The Coke Zero I drink constantly will do that.
Reply Retweet Like
Chase Mitchell Mar 23
"i gathered this press conference to announce that, folks, she loves it"
Reply Retweet Like
Chase Mitchell Mar 23
Imagine how badly the President of the United States wants to tweet "I fuck my wife"
Reply Retweet Like
Chase Mitchell Mar 23
i went to a globetrotters show at barclays recently and there was an entire storyline that hinged on a box of entenmann's donuts
Reply Retweet Like
Chase Mitchell Mar 22
I am so tired of learning old white dudes names
Reply Retweet Like
Chase Mitchell Mar 22
2015: Can u believe how much we look at our phones? 2017: Don't put down ur phone for a fucking second or u will miss the end of the world.
Reply Retweet Like
Chase Mitchell retweeted
Mike Scully Mar 21
My favorite part of Beauty & The Beast was when the entire row of kids in front of me turned gay
Reply Retweet Like