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Chase Mitchell
Writer for The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. Previously at Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, Nikki & Sara LIVE, @Someecards and @HappyPlace.
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Chase Mitchell 3d
Aaron Sorkin has apologized for The Newsroom. Unfortunately, much like everything on The Newsroom, it is two years too late.
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Chase Mitchell 5d
And on the third day, Jesus rose from the grave and said, "Be not afraid, for I have-- Peter, are those are my sandals? What the fuck dude"
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Chase Mitchell 5d
"Do you KNOW who my father is?" - Jesus
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Chase Mitchell 5d
Happy 420. Because if there's one thing that's true to the spirit of smoking marijuana, it's remembering to do something at a specified time
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Chase Mitchell 18 Apr
"Jesus died for your sins" is just a higher-stakes version of "Your grandmother made that sweater for you."
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Chase Mitchell 18 Apr
Imagine how different '90s music would have been if Dave Coulier just wanted to watch the movie.
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Chase Mitchell 16 Apr
Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Wahlberg are like if 1993 wrote fan fiction.
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Chase Mitchell retweeted
jonnifer lopez 16 Apr
[presses thumb tack on map] These are all the places ive bought thumb tacks
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Chase Mitchell 15 Apr
"Clap along, if you feel..." Oh good, he's not talking to me.
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Chase Mitchell 15 Apr
Don: "You don't just sell travel... You sell comfort." *unveils poster* "U.S. Airways: It's better than having an airplane lodged in your pu
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Chase Mitchell 15 Apr
Ugh Russia can you just not with the war right now
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Chase Mitchell 15 Apr
Meanwhile on Facebook, a girl you went to high school with whose last name you don't recognize posted something religious.
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Chase Mitchell 14 Apr
Knew I wouldn't regret setting that "vagina plane" Google alert.
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Chase Mitchell 14 Apr
Joffrey Baratheon was one of our worst Republican presidents.
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Chase Mitchell 13 Apr
*Jesus and his disciples walk out of the temple, the "Entourage" theme music kicks in*
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Chase Mitchell 12 Apr
Time for people in Brooklyn to put away those winter scarves and get out those winter scarves.
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Chase Mitchell 12 Apr
Really enjoying this 3-day transition between "bitter winter" and "hot garbage summer."
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Chase Mitchell 11 Apr
Keep the Cadbury creme eggs coming and you can kill as many saviors as you want.
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Chase Mitchell 08 Apr
"Kiss and make up." - complete description of a KISS album cover
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Chase Mitchell 01 Apr
How I Met Your Mother ended as we all knew it would: with the camera panning down to reveal the children's feet chained to the radiator.
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