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Chase Mitchell
Emmy-losing writer for The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon.
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Chase Mitchell 2h
why not, that's what they did
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Chase Mitchell 10h
Hollywood: See Terminator 5, starring Jai Courtney. Me: Who? Hollywood: Jai Courtney. He was in that movie with Shailene Woodley. Me: Who?
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Chase Mitchell Jun 29
Fun thought: Trump has put himself in a position where he will one day have to give a concession speech, literally admitting he is a loser.
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Amy Schumer Jun 28
Put down your torches before reading this so you don't catch on fire.
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Chase Mitchell Jun 28
This is the top Google image result for the word "Nope."
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Chase Mitchell Jun 26
What a huge week for Obama: Heath care reform, a trade bill, gay marriage, AND he got to see Marc Maron's garage.
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Chase Mitchell Jun 26
It is sooooooooooo ordered.
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Chase Mitchell Jun 26
I would hate to be Justice Scalia's toilet today.
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Chase Mitchell Jun 24
There are two kinds of people in this world: candidates for the Republican nomination for president, and people who have played Spider-Man.
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Chase Mitchell Jun 23
hey cool but what does that have to do with this picture of willem dafoe and his madame tussaud's figure
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Chase Mitchell retweeted
demi adejuyigbe Jun 23
imagine being the PA sent to fedex kinko's to print this giant sign for don lemon
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Chase Mitchell Jun 22
Don't worry, Confederate flag supporters, you may have lost the battle, but you haven't lost the w-- oh right
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Chase Mitchell Jun 22
Much more offended that Obama wouldn't stop plugging .
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Chase Mitchell Jun 22
I'm calling it right now: Clinton/Sanders and Bush/Rubio. Those are the candidates who are going to fuck.
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Chase Mitchell Jun 21
Just heard the John Mayer song "Daughters" playing in a CVS if you want to know what Father's Day is like in Hell.
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Chase Mitchell Jun 21
Happy Father's Day, motherfuckers
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Chase Mitchell Jun 19
"That church shooting could have been stopped by having more guns in church." - people who, with a straight face, call themselves Christians
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Josh Millard Jun 18
Step 1: lower Confederate flag to half mast. Step 2: continue lowering. Step 3: seriously just take the thing down, what the fuck.
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Chase Mitchell Jun 18
make friends with morrissey
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Chase Mitchell Jun 18
Watching the commercial breaks from TV shows you DVRed 6 months ago is the lowest form of time travel.
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