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Christopher Ashman
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Christopher Ashman proslijedio/la je tweet
John Kennedy 16. svi 2018.
ME: Can I buy you a drink? HER: I have a boyfriend. ME: {counting coins on the table} He can only get something small then.
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Christopher Ashman 5 h
Odgovor korisniku/ci @climaxximus
*sniff* thanks buddy
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Christopher Ashman 5 h
Odgovor korisniku/ci @climaxximus
The struggle is real 🎭 😫
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Christopher Ashman proslijedio/la je tweet
⚠️maxx⚠️ 5 h
doctor: we're putting you in a cast me: [a struggling actor] will I have any lines?
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Christopher Ashman proslijedio/la je tweet
Christopher Ashman 10 h
america: ayyy australia: g’dayy america: lmao new zealand: lmaori
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Christopher Ashman proslijedio/la je tweet
𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚊𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚌𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 18 h
I drink so much Aussie wine, I’ve grown a yellow tail.
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Christopher Ashman proslijedio/la je tweet
HRH Prince Pessimus Prime Duke of Everything 14 h
Me: in the early 90s, I helped clear a yard in Australia of overgrown plants, to create space for a performance by an up and coming pop duo Her: Savage Garden? Me: more unkempt really
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Christopher Ashman proslijedio/la je tweet
Mom Jeans 6 h
Me: I won a trip to Australia! Him: outback? Me: nah, online
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Christopher Ashman proslijedio/la je tweet
.Mela. 6 h
Natalie Imbruglia: doc, nothing’s fine, I’m torn Therapist: care to elaborate? Natalie: I’m all out of faith Therapist: tell me how you’re feeling Natalie: this is how I feel; I’m cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor Therapist: yeah about that
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Christopher Ashman 7 h
Odgovor korisniku/ci @vishesche
😊
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Christopher Ashman proslijedio/la je tweet
rice man 7 h
Crocodile Dundee: you call that a knife? me: yes Dundee: what do you call this? me: a fork
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Christopher Ashman proslijedio/la je tweet
soul nate 20 h
me, the only one in spanish class who can’t roll his r’s:
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Christopher Ashman proslijedio/la je tweet
inkedupandsonic 7 h
mugger: act cool and you wont get hurt me: *two thumbs up* Eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy mugger: you know what, here's your wallet back
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Christopher Ashman 10 h
america: ayyy australia: g’dayy america: lmao new zealand: lmaori
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Christopher Ashman proslijedio/la je tweet
the drake gatsby 🧙‍♂️ 10 h
Friend: How was your Australia trip? Me: *disappointed I wasnt able to carry an adult kangaroo in a baby bjorn while they had a baby kangaroo in their pouch* It was fine I guess
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Christopher Ashman proslijedio/la je tweet
𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚊𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚌𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 17 h
Vegemite implies that vegemay.
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Christopher Ashman proslijedio/la je tweet
🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊 19. sij
Campfires are just acoustic toasters.
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Christopher Ashman proslijedio/la je tweet
Possum Kingdom 22 h
Nobody: Girls singing the American anthem at sporting events: 🎵 and the home of the braaaAAAaaaAAäääáãAAAA ɑɑɑɑɑɑ A AaaÅÃ ᴬᴬᴬᴬ aaaaaaaaa AAAAA AAAAAA aaaaââä ɑɑɑɑɑɑve 🎵
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Christopher Ashman proslijedio/la je tweet
rice man 23 h
Crocodile Dundee: you call that a knife? me: yes what do you call it? Dundee: this is a sharpy stabaroo
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Christopher Ashman 11 h
Odgovor korisniku/ci @thefunnytweeter
Awesome! Safe travels 😊
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