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Elise Bauman
Actor/Filmmaker
3,452
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Tweets
Elise Bauman 2h
Sometimes when I’m wearing my new glasses outside I forget that they are not sunglasses which results in some very awkward unintentional eye contact
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Elise Bauman Apr 23
Today I start Discount Therapy at $35 a session, which means my new therapist should already have a pretty good baseline for my feelings of self worth
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Elise Bauman Apr 20
On ariana grande’s new album she has a song titled “needy” directly followed by a song saying “I’ma need space” so if that does not perfectly encapsulate my dating energy I’m not sure what does
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Elise Bauman Apr 18
Replying to @nootvanlis
🤓🙏🏼
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Elise Bauman Apr 17
Every accidental right swipe is my karmic punishment for all the people I have ghosted over the years.
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Elise Bauman Apr 17
My tweet was too long.
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Elise Bauman Apr 16
A Good Weekend™ I would say.
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Elise Bauman Apr 15
I have never been to confession but I did just open a package of beef jerky on an airplane so now may be the time.
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Elise Bauman Apr 15
What happens in Vegas does not in fact stay in Vegas and instead stays permanently on your body 👍🏼
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Elise Bauman Apr 13
OH BOY WHAT A RIDE IT WAS. ✨
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Elise Bauman Apr 11
Vegas, a Spreadsheet:
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Elise Bauman Apr 10
Ever see a person in real life and think “wow, you are an overwritten character in a judd apatow comedy”?
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Elise Bauman Apr 9
I heard recently Gwyneth Paltrow named her company “goop” because she heard successful internet companies have double O's in their name, so with that in mind I would like to announce my latest business venture, “mooist”.
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Elise Bauman Apr 4
Scientifically, I am confused as how I am not bald based on the amount I seem to shed on a given day.
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Elise Bauman Apr 3
Replying to @natvanlis
Indeed, thank you Mama Vanlis! Glad I’ve been able to catch the past 4 years of your journey on this little 🌍. Judging by how things are going, I see only bigger and brighter 💫
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Elise Bauman Apr 3
This thread was some serious LOLs and I enjoyed every moment of it.
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Elise Bauman Apr 1
If you take a selfie in a film set trailer, and do not tweet it, did you even work as an actor?
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Elise Bauman Apr 1
How I feel about you + that blue suit you just wore ✅
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Elise Bauman Apr 1
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Elise Bauman Apr 1
Replying to @howtobuyababy
🥰🥰🥰
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