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Matt Bond
SRE at | Aspiring baker | Too many boardgames | formerly . | He/him | 🏳️‍🌈 🇨🇦
801
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101
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86
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Tweets
Matt Bond Aug 15
Replying to @katie_fenn
Ah crap our cover is blown! 🛸🛸🛸
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Matt Bond Aug 13
Replying to @courtneynoh
You look like you’re having a really good time with that goat snot feeling there. Very enthusiastic
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Matt Bond Aug 13
Replying to @whale_eat_squid
What can I say, I read the branding guidelines 😈
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Matt Bond Aug 12
NPM should be ashamed. In what universe is that professional behaviour? What happened to “compassion is our strategy”?
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Matt Bond retweeted
Rebecca Turner Aug 12
Replying to @ReBeccaOrg
Honestly even the "culture clash" framing is helpful to npm here, as they would like to spin this as "srs business" vs "damn internet hippies", instead of addressing the unbecoming behaviour and poor decisions of its leadership. =/
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Matt Bond retweeted
Aaron Patterson Aug 8
I like it when I type a pun in slack and then see "several people typing" followed by no messages for several minutes
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Matt Bond Aug 6
Replying to @hahnrobert
Honestly the worst part of this tweet is that the joke came so easily that I actually wrote it in my standup for real today first and realized I should make the tweet afterwards 😬 (just the challenges part, but _still_)
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Matt Bond Aug 6
Congrats Todd! I hope it is welcoming, wonderful, balanced, and full of interesting problems to solve!
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Matt Bond Aug 6
Daily Standup: What did you accomplish yesterday: * move to rural America What are you planning to do today: * watch my small kids play in my yard for 3-5 minutes What challenges stand in your way: * 30-50 feral hogs
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Matt Bond retweeted
Edcrab Aug 5
normal person: *sobbing* please stop this. the plums. the orb. the baby shoes. please start making sense twitter: 30-50 feral hogs normal person: fuck you
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Matt Bond retweeted
The Wombat Resists Aug 5
This is just to say I shot the hogs that were in my yard probably eating my children Forgive me there were 30-50 so feral and so bold
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Matt Bond retweeted
Khai Aug 4
This arrow by mathematician and sculptor Kokichi Sugihara can't point left. Here's how it works: It's 3D-printed with a bunch of curves our brains don't register.
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Matt Bond retweeted
that bitch Jul 31
gay culture is being referred to as an "old soul" during your childhood, because you used to keep yourself emotionally constipated to pass as straight and baby boomers used to think that's maturity.
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Matt Bond Aug 1
“We’re here, we’re queer, we’re still waiting for you to come over and get it.” Well then. 😈
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Matt Bond retweeted
Heather ⬢ Flowers Jul 28
"Ladies and Gentlemen" * tired * excludes nonbinary people * boring "Friends and Enemies" * puts the whole room on edge * who is your enemy??? * little do you know they're all your enemies * you've already poisoned the wine they drink * none shall survive
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Matt Bond retweeted
Sean Larkin (廖肖恩) ✈️ 深圳@TenCentLive Jul 25
🎉🎉🎉🎉BREAKING: : Optional Chaining has now moved to Stage 3!!!
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Matt Bond retweeted
Anthony Oliveira Jul 23
FAMILY FEUD was the quintessential heterosexual show: the nuclear family, placed on a dais, competing to see who could give the most boring answer and thereby prove they thought the most like everyone else, to wild applause
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Matt Bond Jul 22
Replying to @whale_eat_squid
Big mood huh?
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Matt Bond retweeted
JD Long Jul 17
This is just to say... I have shaven the yaks that were near my project and which you were probably ignoring as a waste of effort Forgive me they were fuzzy somewhat interesting yet so tedious
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Matt Bond retweeted
Pinboard Jul 18
As points out, Facebook's FEC filing is up early this month! Let's see who America's most trusted social network gave money to while celebrating corporate :
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