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Your Comic Muse
My Twitter page dedicated to comedy, comedians & their fans. 🎶Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think...🎶
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Your Comic Muse retweeted
Conan O'Brien 7h
Just landed in Greenland. Negotiations have begun!
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Your Comic Muse retweeted
Chase Mitchell Aug 21
"I know *of* that person, but I don't *know* them." - something I have said 100,000 times in my life that has never once been helpful
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Your Comic Muse retweeted
chip malfunction 30 Oct 15
If you lie down on the floor in McDonald's you get to meet the manager
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Your Comic Muse retweeted
pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” 15h
Feeling very grateful today for the insane billionaire who pays me $10,000 every time I tweet, regardless of the quality of the tweet 🙏
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Your Comic Muse retweeted
Sara Nelson 6h
This was the moment I told U.S. based Cathay Pacific Flight Attendants they succeeded in getting the National Mediation Board to schedule their election for . Six weeks later 97% voted for the union. Today, they voted 99% to ratify their first contract! Joy!
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Your Comic Muse 2h
Told myself I have to tread water in the pool for an hour, because I didn't go running yesterday or today. So I'm making an exercise that's like drowning playlist to get me through, and it's impossible in case you were wondering. But the first warm up 15 minutes are Cat Stevens.
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Your Comic Muse retweeted
Abby Heugel 3h
Whenever I see a joint Facebook account, I'm reminded that sometimes you can never be too single.
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Your Comic Muse retweeted
Kate Willett 15h
Responses men get to jokes online: *lol *haha *lmao Responses women get: *would u like 2 drown in a swimming pool of my cum *There's no such thing as sexism you fucking dumb bitch *Actually, your personal refusal to smile will get Trump elected again.
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Your Comic Muse retweeted
rob delaney 6h
This is the most fucked up tweet I’ve ever seen & bonus: it’s from the guy who was fined $1.7 billion for defrauding Medicare. Holy shit.
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Your Comic Muse retweeted
Ginny Hogan 5h
The most constant feature in my 28-year long life is Biden running for President
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Your Comic Muse retweeted
Genevieve Rice 2h
Replying to @ginnyhogan_
He’s the most electable candidate who’s never been elected.
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Your Comic Muse retweeted
Tommy Vietor 5h
This is the Mona Lisa of pandering. Just breathtaking.
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Your Comic Muse retweeted
Ken Tremendous 4h
Cool hope. I hope you're booed into oblivion everywhere you go for the rest of your life!
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Your Comic Muse retweeted
Gene Park 8h
dude on live is killing it and has an audience of about 18,000
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Your Comic Muse retweeted
W. Kamau Bell 10h
Posting this for every American stand-up comic who complains about "political correctness" & "cancel culture" stopping them from telling jokes.
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Your Comic Muse retweeted
Chelsea Handler 2h
I’m not surprised Sarah Huckabee Sanders is joining Fox News, but I will be surprised to see what she looks like as a blonde.
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Your Comic Muse retweeted
dan chamberlain 9h
bad news from the thrift store
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Sarah Beattie 3h
I like how in Pretty Woman she won't kiss on the mouth when she's probably had like 57 trucker dicks in there
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Your Comic Muse retweeted
Karen Kilgariff 3h
I guess I never wanted to do improv because I don’t like pretending to stir things
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Your Comic Muse retweeted
John Delaney 11h
Boston is great. I go to a bar and ask for an iced coffee. The bartender says with a smile "can't help yaah but I can pour some Guinness over ice"
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