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Dave Yates
Comedian. Writer. Actor. Enjoys an array of cheeses and fancy mustard. Ha Ha Hot Sauce Maker. 4 years sober.
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Dave Yates 17h
Remeber the show "Unsolved Mysteries"? There needs to be a millennial version called, "Unsolved Vague-bookings".
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Dave Yates Feb 17
they work at Pantera Bread.
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Dave Yates Feb 17
Give Juggalos a break, guys. If not for them, who else would make your Taco Bell at 1am?!?!
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Dave Yates Feb 17
Phish fans usually put stickers from the band on their cars. How considerate of them, letting you know where the weed is.
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Dave Yates Feb 17
Juggalos usually put stickers of the hatchet man on their cars. How courteous of them to let you know where the meth is.
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Dave Yates Feb 15
You wouldn't believe how many times I hit the "dislike button" in my own head when I read your shit.
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Dave Yates Feb 13
and looking at like: "Don't tell me my business, Devil Woman!"
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Dave Yates Feb 12
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Dave Yates Feb 11
Good paying day-jobs kill more comedians than drugs and alcohol combined.
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Dave Yates Feb 10
This dude's pull-out game is NOT strong.
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Dave Yates Feb 10
going to town on these fools! @ The Comedy Shrine
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Dave Yates Feb 9
Minions are the new "Tinker Bell Tattoo" of crazy women indicators.
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Dave Yates Feb 9
💜
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Dave Yates retweeted
AJ Finney Feb 9
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Dave Yates Feb 8
his life is haha
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Dave Yates Feb 8
Ted Cruz looks like a sock puppet that someone came in, let dry, and started debating with it.
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Dave Yates Feb 8
I'm getting old enough now, that when I wish someone "Happy Birthday" online afterwards, I click to see if they're still alive.
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Dave Yates Feb 7
POTUS? Drop the "TU" if you want to be accurate.
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Dave Yates Feb 6
Shits about to get REAL caffeinated here at work! with the
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Dave Yates Feb 5
New twitter, who dis?
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