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Dave Yates
Comedian. Writer. Actor. Enjoys an array of cheeses and fancy mustard. Ha Ha Hot Sauce creator. 6 years sober.
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Dave Yates Sep 22
I'm tonight ! Come through and hear a cacophony jokes
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Dave Yates Sep 21
Kids parties are just open mics for magicians
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Dave Yates Sep 21
Can't believe DILF never caught on.
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Dave Yates Sep 19
People who call their kids "littles" should have them taken away immediately.
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Dave Yates Sep 17
"Not all heros wear capes" because comic books arent real, dum dum.
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Dave Yates Sep 16
When I meet someone for the first time and by the end of the night, they forget my name but I remember theirs, no better feeling.
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Dave Yates Sep 16
When I go out, I'll get tired and go home. Then I have to watch 1 hour of TV to get re-tired to fall asleep.
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Dave Yates Sep 14
Replying to @lifesaparty
It's all I have left to feel something
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Dave Yates Sep 14
I love patty melts, but they dont love me. My booty hole is so turnt right now.
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Dave Yates Sep 12
I read all of your posts in my own voice which is why I rarely like any of them.
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Dave Yates Sep 12
People ask, "Was your move to LA worth it?" Well, I did see Goldie Hawn get into her car once so, maybe.
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Dave Yates Sep 12
Replying to @StevieJarosz
Noble
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Dave Yates Sep 12
I gotta lot of strong opinions and I keep that shit to myself.
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Dave Yates Sep 9
Saying "adulting" automatically negates any adult shit you may be doing.
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Dave Yates Sep 9
Replying to @YatesComedy
They're*
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Dave Yates Sep 8
The least funny comedians mention their a comedian the most.
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Dave Yates Sep 7
Never thought "making something from scratch" ever sounded very sanitary.
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Dave Yates Sep 3
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Dave Yates Aug 31
Some of y'all are real chode chuggers.
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Dave Yates Aug 31
Replying to @RickyCries
Dont gamble all your pay at their huge casino. Spend some on bowling though. Comics get discount
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