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weekend twitr
please, it's all i have left. IG: harumph__harumph
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weekend twitr retweeted
𝕎𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕒 𝕃𝕋❤️ Jul 21
A friend with benefits - but the benefits are health care, paid vacation days, and a 401K.
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weekend twitr retweeted
Emre Parker 🇧🇪 23 Feb 19
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weekend twitr retweeted
Audra Lee Denny Jan 12
Who inspires me on the twitters: The hot messes. The non-hot messes. The truth livers. The truth seekers. The story-tellers. The story-listeners. The strugglers. The successors. You. Keep doing you. You are an inspiration.
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red•curly•mama❤️🌊✊🏿☮️🌍 Jul 5
Me: Walks through the forest soothe my soul. The forest: Welcome. Please enjoy your complimentary poison oak.
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weekend twitr retweeted
mermaiddaisy 5h
A random leaf looks an awful lot like a bug at 6 am It’s a dead leaf now 😅
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The Onion 15h
Cash-Strapped NRA Forced To Shoot Dozens Of Redundant Employees
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Myrna Tellingheusen 14h
Sometimes, as I look across my yard at dusk I pretend I’m seeing fireflies, when I know deep down it’s really the glow of Doris’s cigarettes.
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weekend twitr retweeted
Freddie Campion 20h
ME: I’m such a Hufflepuff. JUDGE: You’re supposed to say “guilty” or “not guilty”
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weekend twitr retweeted
Helen Rosner 18h
No joke this is one of my biggest fears aaaaaaaaahhhh
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Hurricane Warning🐞 20h
Every female's response when that Twitter fuckboi sends a dick pic.
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☕New-ish Mom🍷 Sep 29
If you've recently been screamed at for doing exactly what you were asked to do, you must have a toddler.
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weekend twitr 18h
i hurt my back doing the floss dance today and if that doesn't make me sound old i also just called it the floss dance
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weekend twitr retweeted
Jim Nunya (6 feet fucko) Apr 18
I appreciate those of you that don't feel the same way I do about something yet choose to discuss it rather than just unfollow. Very few of my beliefs are set in stone. Also if we interact, I've already decided you weren't too stupid. Chances are I will consider your opinion.
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🌈.k.💀 18 Jun 19
*stirs drink with middle finger*
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Casual Buzz Aug 6
Wait, you mean everyone can see what I'm writing here? Oh shit
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weekend twitr retweeted
Pamela Pouley 22h
The insanity is overwhelming. I can’t keep up.
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🔮 30 Apr 19
Face down, ass up, thats the way I pick up my dogs toys
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weekend twitr retweeted
SimpsonsQOTD 24h
“Wow, the NRA! Can I get armour piercing cyanide tipped bullets, too?” “It’s in the Constitution, son.”
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Deann Jul 29
Saying “beautiful smile” is always more appreciated than “smile, beautiful”
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JesusSavesHisAllowance Apr 12
just woke up and man i feel good like i slept three whole days
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