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Marly
Mom, Wife, Scribbler - Tweets OR exc replies header by talented friend
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Marly retweeted
Mrs. Fitz Mar 4
Spring, get your sassy ass over here.
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Mrs. Fitz Mar 4
Her words have sharp creases, but they fold up nicely.
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Mrs. Fitz Mar 18
Breathe in for 4 seconds. Hold your breath for 7 seconds. Breathe out for 8 seconds, engaging your diaphragm. {me to my coworker, trying to help her relax} Then we laugh & laugh, because the world is on fire.
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Marly 5h
A relative left me a jug of juice on my porch. Another one left a box of crackers. People are dropping off supplies to each other & disappearing like super spies in kindness covert ops.
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Piper? Mar 27
Now we’re lining up outside the grocery store like ugly people trying to get into a new nightclub.
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🌸Likes🌸 7h
The nonchalance of this squirrel approaching my taco is quite impressive.
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Zesti 5h
I'm hiding in the basement because of a tornado warning. But that's where we keep the ping pong table.
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RustyBertrand 8h
Meanwhile, in Iceland...
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KattsDogma 9 Jul 15
Just ate fondue & now I understand why everyone got divorced in the 1970's.
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Willow is an essential service 6h
My autistic son has asked me every evening for the past 10 days or so “what are we doing tomorrow” and when I describe nothing more than a variation on staying home he is so happy. So very happy.
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Flirt 5h
I'm not southern, but this cornbread and chilli I'm making says I could be.
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sophielou 10h
Carefully alcohol sprayed grocery bags in the backseat of my car then nearly passed out from fumes on the drive home
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Bob Jänke 6h
Calling the cops and accusing my neighbors of being witches
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20/20 Archaeologist 5h
Everyone: It's a pandemic! Dinosaurs: Pussies.
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Call me Marcus 15h
Reluctantly the children gather round. "Let's play name that tune" Their groans are drowned out as I play Uptown funk on the zipper of my cardigan.
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Annie Hatfield 5h
Your own body wants to kill you. Biting your lip repeatedly in the same spot is the phone call coming from inside the house.
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle 7h
I always knew life was not a prelude but I never expected it to be a seclude.
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Mary 5h
As a matter of fact, ma’am, I have forgotten how to drive.
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fightgeek 8h
i'm using my stimulus check to start a traveling snake oil show. sponsored, in part, by buick
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Stu, For Real 6h
Gonna start feathering my hair 'cause you know fuck it
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