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God
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God Aug 16
Stop kissing My ass and start not raping kids.
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God Aug 15
When you kill in My name I feel like you don’t think I can kill for Myself, and that makes Me sad.
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God Aug 14
The road to enlightenment always leads through the valley of morons.
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God Aug 13
Donald Trump will at some point die.
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God Aug 13
If the aliens landed today and said "Take me to your leader," I would be utterly humiliated.
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God Aug 10
I'm not a racist but I don't like human people.
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God Aug 10
Nobody truly not racist ever needs to say it.
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God Aug 7
My son is 2,000 years old and still lives with his parents.
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God Aug 6
I should apocalypse faster.
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God Aug 6
It’s going to get much, much, much, much worse.
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God Aug 4
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God Aug 4
If I didn't love LeBron James I wouldn't have named the King James Bible after him.
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God Aug 3
It’s easy to blame other people for your problems, so do that.
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God Aug 1
Replying to @TheTweetOfGod
I’m serious. You’re the worst species I ever created, and I made 3,500 different cockroaches.
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God Aug 1
What a fucking nightmare you people are.
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God Aug 1
I’ve been very unhappy at work lately.
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God Jul 31
Retweet this if you feel like it. Totally your call.
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God Jul 31
I am not sending a meteor to collide with Earth and even if I do, collision is not a crime.
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God Jul 30
I am colluding with Satan.
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God retweeted
God Feb 10
With great power comes no responsibility.
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