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King Cricket
Michael Vaughan has (genuinely) told Wisden: "Road House taught me a lot."
In issue 24 of Wisden Cricket Monthly, Michael Vaughan spoke to John Stern about his Twitter persona, the importance of luck and much, much more.
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King Cricket Nov 2
Replying to @TheKingsTweets
I'm now going to watch Roadhouse. Let's see exactly what we can learn from Patrick Swayze's character, Dalton...
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King Cricket Nov 2
Replying to @TheKingsTweets
Dalton's just been stabbed in the arm and he didn't even flinch.
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King Cricket Nov 2
Replying to @TheKingsTweets
Dalton said/implied he'd fight the guy but then he wandered off and left him outside. He's sewing up his arm now. He says it's just a scratch.
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King Cricket Nov 2
Replying to @TheKingsTweets
Dalton just gave a random guy a Mercedes. (This doesn't definitely seem like something Michael Vaughan would do.)
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King Cricket Nov 2
Replying to @TheKingsTweets
Dalton just bought a very shit car. (I'm not going to make explicit Vaughan comparisons for all this stuff. You're smart people. You can do it yourself.)
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King Cricket Nov 2
Replying to @TheKingsTweets
Dalton just rented a room off a farmer. "No phone, no television, no conditioned air."
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King Cricket Nov 2
Replying to @TheKingsTweets
He's sacked a couple of people from the bar. He says, "It's my way or the high way."
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King Cricket Nov 2
Replying to @TheKingsTweets
Dalton's three rules. (Dalton's basically a bouncer, by the way.) 1. Never underestimate your opponent 2. Take it outside 3. Be nice (Guessing this is the bit Vaughan learned most from.)
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King Cricket Nov 2
Replying to @TheKingsTweets
Be nice until it's time not to be nice. You won't know when that is, but it doesn't matter because Dalton will tell you.
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King Cricket Nov 2
Replying to @TheKingsTweets
A guy had a knife so Dalton put his face through a table. Presumably he judged that it was time not to be nice.
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King Cricket Nov 2
Replying to @TheKingsTweets
Dalton is doing tai chi.
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King Cricket Nov 2
Replying to @TheKingsTweets
So, to recap, Dalton is a "cooler" which is basically the captain of the bouncers at a very rough bar. He has very particular ideas about team selection: chiefly, no psychopaths.
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King Cricket Nov 2
Replying to @TheKingsTweets
Dalton is wearing a cream V-neck tank top over a white shirt. So basically dressed as a cricketer.
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King Cricket Nov 2
Replying to @TheKingsTweets
Dalton is now sitting outside completely naked. Like a naked cricketer.
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King Cricket Nov 2
Replying to @TheKingsTweets
Dalton tried to punch his bouncer mentor but his bouncer mentor caught the punch in one hand because it's possible to do that in films.
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King Cricket Nov 2
Replying to @TheKingsTweets
Dalton just kicked a guy in the balls and then ripped out his throat with his bare hand. (We're led to believe he's done this before as well.)
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King Cricket Nov 2
Replying to @TheKingsTweets
The guy had a gun, but he'd disarmed him. I don't know what Michael Vaughan thinks, but I feel the throat removal was excessive.
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King Cricket Nov 2
Replying to @TheKingsTweets
He's just killed one of the people he didn't want in his bar team. This is, metaphorically, what happened to Darren Pattinson.
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King Cricket Nov 2
Replying to @TheKingsTweets
He's crushed another guy with a stuffed polar bear. Can't find a metaphorical angle on that and not sure what an England cricket captain could really learn from it either.
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King Cricket Nov 2
Replying to @TheKingsTweets
The end. In conclusion, Roadhouse is one of the great morality tales of our time and we can all learn a lot from it, particularly anyone who happens to captain an international cricket team.
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King Cricket Nov 2
Replying to @TheKingsTweets
Or anyone who commentates on cricket, I suppose. The end, the end. Fully the end
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