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Sam Sykes
Fantasy author of Seven Blades in Black, the Bring Down Heaven Trilogy and An Affinity for Steel. Professional bear-wrestler. Friend of Humanity.
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Sam Sykes Jun 24
Replying to @SamSykesSwears
I will excuse nothing and blame no one who needs me out of their orbit right now. I said I'd been a shitty person before and I meant it. For any of this to hurt people less, I need to account for all of it.
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Sam Sykes Jun 24
Replying to @SamSykesSwears
More people are stepping forward with ways I've made them uncomfortable. I have made inappropriate and overfamiliar comments with many people regarding personal lives. The kind of talk I thought was acceptable was absolutely not. Please let the victims keep speaking.
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Sam Sykes Jun 24
Replying to @AlexandraErin
I have to consider that something I thought was off-hand or my very presence had enough impact to be retaliatory. I am sorry. I am trying to think more.
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Sam Sykes Jun 24
I can't dispute that, either.
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Sam Sykes Jun 24
That's absolutely true and I'll have to live with the consequences, as well as those who were hurt by me. But if those harmed by me request me to try, I must try.
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Sam Sykes Jun 24
Replying to @AlexandraErin
So I am waiting and listening and ready to do more work.
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Sam Sykes Jun 24
Replying to @AlexandraErin
I appreciate you requesting this. I don't recall a specific retaliation against anyone. But it's becoming clear that I've done stuff that was harmful and didn't realize it or excused it for my own selfish, insufficient reasons. I want to help people as much as possible.
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Sam Sykes Jun 24
I understand. Sorry to have failed you.
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Sam Sykes Jun 24
Replying to @CynthiaMoralez
Trying.
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Sam Sykes Jun 24
Replying to @rwjohns07
I can't ask you to take my word for it, but I am trying. As the conversation progresses, I am listening, I am learning and I am trying my hardest.
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Sam Sykes Jun 24
Replying to @CynthiaMoralez
I am trying. People have held me accountable here. I can't let them down by not holding others to the same standard.
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Sam Sykes Jun 24
Thank you. I appreciate your time and insight.
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Sam Sykes Jun 24
Thank you. My perception was incomplete. I can't make excuses--I did what I did for dumb reasons that don't hold water now and didn't hold water then. I can only say that I am listening and I am trying.
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Sam Sykes Jun 24
Replying to @MeatVoltron @mm_schill
I appreciate this, guys.
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Sam Sykes Jun 24
Replying to @LizagnaNoodles
I'm truly sorry for letting you down. For a long time, I thought I *was* one of "the good ones," and I let that guide me when I made bad decisions. But I've been listening, and I'll keep listening. I can't promise you I won't fuck up again, but I can promise you I'll keep trying.
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Sam Sykes Jun 24
Replying to @LizagnaNoodles
Well, I can't try harder if I'm not owning up to it.
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Sam Sykes Jun 24
Replying to @LizagnaNoodles
And, not to unload all my shit on you, some intimate stuff happened to me when I was just starting out (I was published at 25) that made me think this stuff was just how it was. I was an adult and made all my own choices, but at the time, I thought that's how it was.
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Sam Sykes Jun 24
Replying to @LizagnaNoodles
I'll explain, but it's not easy to untangle and I'm only now piecing a lot of it together as I've been called out. There were a lot of reasons. I was worried about being the "party pooper," I was terrified of being an outcast. I liked people and wanted their approval.
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Sam Sykes Jun 24
Replying to @MeganEOKeefe
I am also sorry for the decisions you’ve had to make to avoid me at cons denying you spaces you wanted to be in. I understand the impact of my actions extends beyond the moment of the action. I am sorry and will do whatever I need to make this right.
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Sam Sykes Jun 24
Replying to @MeganEOKeefe
I remember that incident and I’m sorry I didn’t apologize sooner. The comments I made were completely unacceptable. I was too ashamed to apologize once I realized it, I wanted to not bother you with my presence. My behavior was a mistake and I am sorry for the pain I caused you.
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