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Hi there, it’s Sage.
Perpetually stuck between a hot dog eating contest and a juice cleanse.
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Hi there, it’s Sage. May 22
Hey , can you please explain to me why I’m paying a monthly fee when your app won’t even open on my Apple TV?
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Hi there, it’s Sage. May 21
Aged myself by about 50 years today by submitting an official request for the department of transportation to add more speed bumps to my street and keep those noisey kids from speeding down my street.
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Hi there, it’s Sage. May 17
Wait, is this a joke?
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Hi there, it’s Sage. May 17
Hey ! I took the day off work because my bedframe was supposed to be delivered today. The Amazon website still says it will arrive by 8pm tonight but now the FedEx website says it’s being delivered tomorrow.
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Hi there, it’s Sage. May 16
There’s a guy pretending to be you and saying he’ll give out 10k a person, but is asking for a mailing fee of $200.
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Hi there, it’s Sage. May 15
Replying to @jbrownmedia @Uber
It just said it was higher due to demand, but I can typically take an UberPool home for $15 or an UberX for $25. I have never seen it with prices like that.
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Hi there, it’s Sage. May 15
Okay, , I understand that if there’s a high demand then prices are a bit increased, but this is 5x the regular price. This is just insulting to your customers.
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Hi there, it’s Sage. May 12
My grandmother just called to tell me to get married already and that I shouldn’t have a problem meeting someone since the city is called MANhattan for a reason.
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Hi there, it’s Sage. May 12
I’ve officially hit a certain age when I realize my idea of being “a little crazy” is to buy a gold bed frame.
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Hi there, it’s Sage. May 11
Today’s my day! I’m not trapped in work and can finally participate.
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Hi there, it’s Sage. May 10
Someone in my meeting keeps saying promise to play instead of promise to pay. I cannot stop thinking about how that should be ’s next campaign.
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Hi there, it’s Sage. May 9
Replying to @adinapogor
Try turning 27, that’s when your existential crisis starts to kick in. Welcome to your glory days, enjoy them!
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Hi there, it’s Sage. May 8
Tinder is basically a compilation of all my coworkers who cheat on their significant others.
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Hi there, it’s Sage. May 6
Stella is excited for our new apartment and is celebrating by shopping the kitchenware section.
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Hi there, it’s Sage. May 5
When you win.
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Hi there, it’s Sage. May 2
Apparently I don’t look professional enough because when flagging down the driver from my company’s car service, he looked at me, said, “sorry miss, this isn’t Uber” and kept driving.
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Hi there, it’s Sage. Apr 27
Just realized it’s been a while since I’ve tweeted about my cat, how I’m single, or how poor I am because of my student loans.
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Hi there, it’s Sage. Apr 22
Sunday means, !!
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Hi there, it’s Sage. Apr 20
When half your office calls in sick on 4/20 🙄
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Hi there, it’s Sage. Apr 19
The Cursed Child is on Broadway, and is in NYC. All my childhood dreams are coming true.
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